Left in the dark

When you befreind a popular person...so be warned and beware. You'll be always left in a confused state on mind. When I was with Ronnie...our relationship was like fire. It happens so fast and we became a couple but we hardly meet or date. But we talk and talk and talk every night expressing our longings. It was a wonderful feelings at first. At college we briefly met and acted as we're just friends. We stole some few moments as we walked close by to say I miss you and I love you...and sometimes briefly holding hands. Him being the head of college prefect, teachers' favourite student and many college projects involvement...Yuna knows many girls are after his personal attention. From a far I can see that his eyes were always on me. Whenever I'm in the library..he took the chances to meet. Many times he said that I'm the one. Wait for me Yuna! As time goes by, I cannot wait any longer..I cannot pretend any more. It was no fun anymore being left in the dark. I don't want to be "I'm the one" to be left unattended or attended as he pleases or whenever he's free. I want my freedom but to break away was really hurtful. Him having trust in me to only love him and assured me to be patience enough to hold onto our love. Ronnie, there was no one but you when I left. I was so confused...I felt unlove and not wanted when you left me too long. Well...I got back my freedom.

When again you befriend a popular person, I have to be well prepared myself not to be in the same state again. I've draw the line making it clear that whatever friendship we have...it will be just it. Yes, we hit like fire. Yes, talk every night. Yes, we are close enough to trust each other. Yes, he's an ever oh so busy fella. Yes, he has my attention. But no, I don't want that dejavu anymore. It is not fun anymore to be left in the dark to whatever statement I'm confused at. Having him trust in me and assured me that no one has ever known him like I do. Well, GG I'm totally confused..how do you want me to take you? You want my attention but you also don't want too much attention. Hey, I was not and am not carried away even though we treated each other as bestfriends. I still have my feet firmly on the ground dear. If you think that it is too much...I might want back my freedom.

Whatever it is, don't you see the same pattern I'm getting involved in? Though with a different scenario, whatever it is...it hurts.