Forever Love

I’m here!

Almost every day I thought of blogging like I used to be. It was fun and I have so many things to write to express what I thought and what I’m feeling. Yeah, it was utterly fun and I feel alive.

I remember Edward Cullen (Twilight) confessed to Bella Swan that he can read people’s mind except Bella. And he wondered why and what so special about that particular girl whom he was so much obsessed with.

I think ‘Love’ makes everything hay wired. You don’t know the reason why you are behaving that way and can’t think of any but that particular person. Your mind body and soul slaved by this obsession and you are not yourself anymore until you accepted the fate that you ARE in love with that particular person.

So once you are there, you left all behind your world and into a new world...a rebirth and somehow you see a bigger picture about your life in front of you. Amazing! Wonderful! Magical too  …A reason to start over new…and the reason is YOU! And the reason is YOU! (sang Hoobastank)

I was then into another phase to understand this new self being and devoted only to Love. It feeds on me and used up all my energy and my life somehow depends on this livelihood. Love is a vampire and my life system depends on this Love! Hahaha..Bella wants to be with Edward Cullen forever! But, he protected Bella from becoming one…she’ll never understand...WHY?

I do now... his sacrificial of undying love to ensure her ‘pristine’ love stay untouched and not wanting the beautiful Love to emulate and evolve into ugliness. ‘I bleed it out deeper deeper just to throw it way?’ echoed by Linkin Park…this message should hit your head and makes you wiser…LOL!

Hmmm..I’m still here and Bella, in her New Moon wants to be Forever Dawn with her Edward one day....Muahahaha

Epic Failure

Sleepless night…

Toss and turn and my hand grab my red and white Nokia 5700 XpressMusic and it lighted up brightly in the dark cold room. Reading back the messages he sent to me and my messages I sent to him…my mouth just glued tightly and tears just flows out slowly…then I went to the 'Miss Call' log, staring silly at the out dated miss call.

My ever favourite companion, the PC, plays a bigger role half of my life… “Oh hello! lets see what you can do for me this time?” I login the Facebook and played the War Metal mindlessly...just carry on with the mission and some battles. ....

Out of the blue, “Hi, do you like Naruto?”; the chat bubble pops out and I replied “ I watched Naruto but I am a Final Fantasy Fan”... I would love to chat with him longer especially when he said that FF8 was the most fun but I was in no mood at all....Epic Failure on chatting!
Later, I recalled the ‘Epic Failure’ photos posted in the FB which make me laughed...so I go looking for it but somehow it fizzles out....Epic Failure on 'Not Funny Anymore' Epic Failure's pictures ...

At the world 7 Tribalwar's Tribe Tatec forum, there was one proud comment on my partner's successful defend his village against our enemy tribe player....“Onvaukter's attempt on Ravager Prime 06 # (857|806) K88 village FAILED!”. Our Baron praised him with “Nice!! I got the reports. Epic fails on -WE- attack!” ....

Lastly I Googled the “Epic Failure’ dead in the night...

Almost 3:00am, this self motivated to sleep is an Epic Failure too. I dreaded myself to bed and another rerun whenever I touch my phone “Huh! Again, Epic Failure” I said to myself as I keep reading over and over our text messages and I couldn’t sleep still. Pressed ‘Image’ and search for some pictures…I remembered he once said “When did I sent you that pic? I can’t recall” Geez, Epic Failure again? I pulled up my comforter covering over my head, closed my teary eyes, grabbed my “Mr Incredible” pillow tightly to my chest and thought of the little kisses I planted that afternoon…zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Emotionally yours

“He said I’m very emotional”

He has the point there but when I feel like I’m falling into the bottomless pit and desperate to climb over, all I do is succumbs to negativity. I wonder if I choked him instead of myself…this sickness is killing me at times…geez!

Listening to the songs from my MP3…each song recollecting ‘my space’ and nostalgia, reminiscing some good times and bad times. I remember the fun, laughter and some crying times too…I was just having good times at the internet and also, I can’t sleep….geez!

Time changes everything and I can’t stop the speed. It keeps me spinning round and round like a wheel of fortune. If you look ahead, you have time to plan that push you forward and unlimited. On your right, your pace of today…the steps you take are accounted for…you are balancing the wheel. On your left, your emotion and real feelings and uncheck reality keep you from falling. If you look back, history is waving goodbyes, some regrets and some bestowed and some….are memories… yearning and wish for more...geez!

I am riding in a roller coaster and only god knows the minute I screamed deafening myself as the car goes down the steep slope and every turn, the cold air blasting in my face….when it goes up slowly, I was gasping for air and ‘No Air’ was drumming in my head…and tears drowning my blinking eyes…almost everyday…but why?..geez!

Nailed needled stapled stitched the “I love you” and “I am with you” at my temple because my heart is already carved poked cut chopped and bleeding “Forever yours”…emotionally well said….geez!

No Air

Ass in the name

I seldom jokes around….I really don’t know how to crack a joke spontaneously. I am not the social type person but who will sit in front of the computer playing games, surfing and communicating with friends if not working. Apart from that I would be in the kitchen, cooking up some quick, delicious and easy dishes at home...snap! snap! snap! ..some candid shots and mms-ing , showing off and let him ‘ooh I am already hungry, love’ (naughty me! Sniggering…hehehe)

I love to be naughty…hmmm..only to someone I am very close and love with. Perhaps, it is just to let off my steam that is pressuring my head and let my hair down once awhile. Zaza, my sister who lives in Malacca, she’s the only person whom I can let out my laughing gas naturally. We always have ‘A Topic’ to joke around and it is usually when we cook up something in the kitchen.

Z: Move your ass (as she was carrying the hot pot)
Y: Moving my beautiful ass (shaking my ass n blocking her way)
Z: I m ass-ing u (we already laughing n giggling)
Y: Ass-ing me to.?
Z: Ass if u don’t know..(what she meant)
Y: My ass is already hot! (we burst up laughing even louder)

And we ended up making jokes with any words that sound with ‘S’ and making fun of ‘Ass’

Y: Do u need my Ass-sistant?
Z: I m gladly u ass!

LOL!

nbtd~

It was such a boring day
With nothing better things to do….it makes me wonder and wander too

Tribalwars
That is the first thing and the last thing I do...almost everyday
Log into my accounts, minting gold coins, level up buildings, scout for barb villages, and coordinate attacks and whatever!
I had it all listed on ‘What to do today’
Done! Wuhoo!

Office matters
My assistant, Shaun, is on medical leave and not much I can do for today, just keep tabs on incoming registrations for reports
Yawning!

Dearie
He’s busy as a bee….oh! Really?
I log into yahoo today to catch up with Rinoa and ‘Look! Who is busy?’
Eyes rolling!

Forward
Read some personal mails and had a good laugh
Forward it to my loved ones and a couple of good friends
Chuckle! LOL!

All seems quiet now….
Feels like zzzzzz as nbtd~

Muse - Time Is Running Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxye7OiL6Gs
I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

Thoughts

Woke up in the middle of the night…staring in the dark...my mind thinking …..

I read his last messages “ Nite2 lov..lov u ..muah xoxo”

We’ve been too busy and sometimes in between space there is ‘quiet’ and sometimes ‘blue’

I read back some sacred messages that I keep for my strength, an essence to move forward and holding on to it…tears slowly flows down when I miss him so

I reminiscing the hey-day time and good times and some dedication songs

Gazing and touching some photos…

I can’t sleep.....

Dedicated to the one I love

My hunger is not of food but sweet love

My thirst is not of water but fulfilling love

You gave me your heart and I gave mine

You gave me your love and I gave mine

I traced your face with my fingers

And kissed those loving eyes with my lips

I loved your hair when untouched

And those ‘hug me please’

When I captured it turn to 'space ball'

When placed it in my blog but none to see

Tell me what you see in me......

The time is in your hand

It places my strength

California Waiting

They haven’t been with each other for quite some times. She was missing him terribly and he was longing for her. He’s trying to get into the life of a working environment and balance it with his personal life. On the other soft side of his, he yearned to be with his beloved once again; ‘Be strong dear, you know that I love you and I miss you too’

She looked at his picture, a rough face with messy hair, a picture where he just got up in the morning telling her that he needed a hair cut that day. “Honey, I love to ruffle and mess up your hair” she chuckled and wished she could pinched his cheeks and kissed his lovey-dovey eyes. Her tears flow as she gazed at the picture reminiscing the old days where it was fun and love together.

It was hard for her to live in his shadow…trying to get to know him better...his way of life...his way of thinking...his gesture of love...his likeness and dislike…pleasing and unpleasant…he was no like other and she wants home to him. ‘Stop crying, love’ when she emotionally off balance, calming her restless heart. “I love you” he assured, she just wished she could run into in his arms once again; him holding her tight and plant kisses on her face…

He introduced her Kings of Leon and she loved it especially the ‘California Waiting’ since it reflects so much of their life. “I want to be with you, dear. That’s my decision, love”, she hang on to his words…

‘and hey! California waiting...and every little things gotta be just right…and say, while you trying to save me…can I go back to my lonely life?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-YUAVXXlSM

Whatever Land

Tonight, I went to ‘The Plain’ and sat by the bedrocks just listening to the stream, my eyes were staring at a spot and my mind, empty. My heart, beating slowly, crying out this feelings like out of touch. I have been to Eden Prime, the most beautiful place in a solar system. I can never get enough of that romantic rendezvous and the undying love.

‘Time’ move and change the surrounding and people, from a slow phase to a faster phase…from alone and not alone…and as it goes by, it drags along either removing a scar or be scarred and felt my skin being peeled away per second and my heart beats in his name yet drawing blood and ‘vampire’ forever and the kisses where it sealed only when we close our eyes.

I saw dandelions ride along the soft wind which carries as far as it could. I think life is about the same theory. We move with time and go as far as we could…as far as we could, honey.

I wouldn’t cry had I not loved
I wouldn’t cry had I not longed

In silence and I wonder if I can steal and sealed ‘The Time of us’
Hush..hush now…as tears flow and the pain grows, knowing it hurts when you’re in love
One part at ‘The Plain’ and one part at ‘Eden Prime’ and one part …in ‘Whatever land’

Good night! Adieu

Tribalwars : W.E rank 14 in world 7

Thanks to all supporting members!
Lots of love
yunie10ko

Tribute to Tribe Yunie

A tribute to Tribe Yunie (W.E)!

W.E is among the best 20 tribes in world 7 of tribalwars....Currently ranking 15 and soon we will reach rank 14.Thanks to all the members!

I have to admit that I was somewhat skeptical when Tenko introduced me to Tribal Wars for I dislike playing games online but it was our first game playing together and I was looking forward to it. I wonder what he was like in a game after hearing him talks about some games he played. Perhaps he too wants to find out my gaming skills.

At first, it was just us. I find it rather boring for I have to upgrade the resources in order to level up the buildings and recruit troops in it. We exchange info and make fun of our Paladin. He named his paladin, Yunie and mine, Tenko. It was fun to see our villages and points grew. Our only problem was our villages were so far apart. We couldn’t send support on time when under siege. When we lost a couple of times, I had to make plans to over come our problem. We chose ‘South East’ as our home destination. We invited our friends, bro, sis and cousins to play and join our tribe ‘Whteve’ a short form of ‘Whatever’, little did they know it was actually ‘Tribe Yunie’. I wasn’t aware of it too until later. “Yunie, I named the tribe after you” he said. At first, I was shy and amused when I got to know and “How romantic!” I thought and laughed away.

When we got bigger, I invited young small players and seeking alliance with other young small tribes. I hate hostility and thus I tried to prosper the growth of Tribe Yunie also known as W.E (Whatever) by making friends with my neighbouring tribes and non ally players. It worked! We noble the barbarian villages around us and never attack players but defend our villages to the bone. And as our tribe grows, our rank shot up too. I begin to seek alliance with the bigger tribes by then.

There was a time we were sabotaged by a player, Kaylan and was under a threat of a bigger tribe too, Tribe Immortal aka *I*. Panic stricken members seeking supports and we have to work even harder. Planning! Lots of planning and strategies! Tenko and I sometimes were online from night till dawn just on Tribalwars. At one point we accepted the merge with *I*. W.E became *I*-R, Tribe Immortal-Recruits. It was a bad move. We were actually being hijacked. Tenko and I rebuilt Tribe Yunie (W.E) once again and we were touched and grateful with the W.E members’ allegiance.

Since experiencing the game for myself, I can now see the attraction. Tribal Wars has been my first introduction to a MMOG and while I may not be the best of players, I find the in-world politics and fight for survival fascinating. It's interesting to witness how the players, tribes and tactics evolve over time.

Thank you, Tenko. Actually, you are good with your personal planning and strategies too. Not only you created Tribe Yunie but captured the heart of ‘Yune10ko’ too.

Loved

I want to spend as much time I have with my beloved. Ever since our confession we haven’t hit the break and constantly in touch with one another and it is like an endless journey…We no longer wants to be by ourselves but inside one another’s dream. I began to feel the beauty in ‘Love’ and want to give more and more. I couldn’t find the exact thing or being or word to show him the ‘Beauty’ I feel for him.

Many times he said “Don’t care about it. It is us that are matter. I love you very much” whenever I feel small or lesser person. He has so much to offer whereas mine is limited. Sometimes I feel sorry for him having me as his girl but he is so persistence, adamant, focuses, loving and sacrificial. I don’t want to change him with anyone else. I am loved. What more do I want? Just that I wish that I’d be there for him like forever….

Thus we created our own portal, running free in our world called Eden Prime; creating an atmosphere we longed for, breaking down the barrier and distance between us, giving all and showing all, the love we have for each other…

I hate the thought of his friends teasing him and under mining his credibility about his love interest. He protects and hides me from the people who don’t understand my well being. He never takes advantage of my kindness and my existence. I don’t know what he sees in me but I feel his existence and his love. I feel myself being envelope by his sincere love and he wants to give me something worth living for and I want to die for him…..

Love is worth living for!

His Tiny Dancer

Hello…I haven’t been coming here as often as I should. I have been busy..yeah, busy building my love nest! Hahahaha….

A few days ago, my friend, Fendi, chat with me. The last time we talked was that he found someone and most probably his soul mate, he said. He gave me her friendster’s profile. Hazlina is her name. I was happy for him and remembered those days when he had problems over his ex girlfriend, re assuring him that the right girl will come for him…just like Azizi. Fendi got married and now a husband to Hazlina.

I don’t know how to start and where to begin about my love life. From just a mere friend to mutual friends and then best friends and now, we are stuck to each other as lovers. WE, never though of falling in love but it did happened. Along the way, it grows unexpectedly or probably we spent too much time together and care for each other. We felt the pinch when we can’t be online and even more when he had to move away back to his home town. Both of us knew, it was ‘love’ that had developed during our friendship days. It was like a roller coaster ride. There was a high time and a low time. It was life and yet it was zombie. All this mix feelings engulf each other and yearn for more and our existence.

Now, I am more settled than before. I feel great! I feel loved! The best thing that ever happens to me was in love with him. He gave me freedom and everything or whatever a girl wants to be. I feel like a kite with a string bound to him. He let me fly higher to feel the life in me …to love him. In him, I am his ‘Tiny Dancer’ and forever his. He let me into his heart and pampered by his true love. I want to be there at all times..just holding his hands and rest my head on his shoulder ..Speechless over whelming by this passionate feeling and sealed it with a kiss….(Strumming my pain with his fingers...Singing my life with his words...Killing me softly with his song...Killing me softly with his song...Telling my whole life with his words...Killing me softly with his song...)

I love you, Tenko-san!