Colours of the day

Grey
There is a period I call it Grey Period as nothing seems right as planned, wrong words, wrong perception, misunderstanding, bad news and nothing seems to be over whelming; hurt and sadness goes deeper and deeper.

Blue
I felt blue and can’t even lift a smile. My mind wonders away thinking and thinking and perhaps rerun of the incident which I wish I could have make changes, to make a difference, to make a mend. Teary eyes reflect the pain and sorrow in me.

White
This could be pure and my internal instinct has not betrayed me at all. It could also mean that I am worried and scared shit to lose a valuable asset. Picture framed, hoping to steal the moment to stand still.

Red
My heart beats faster and harder. I am alive but life is like dead….will I bleed for you?

Black
It does not resemble evil but restoring my sanction, back to my cold dark room.

Yellow
A bright light showers me with warmth and kindness, hugs and kisses that still waits for my return patiently.

Purple
I brave the storm. In silent no words express my sadness moment….

Charming!

Ever since we became closer, our conversations are more casual and relax…buddies! He’s very open and we are very playful. I used to say that he’s mysterious and I think he like the idea of me portraying him as Cloud Strife (FF7 protagonist)who is sensual, quiet, a loner and mysterious. From my point of view, he likes to be in control of himself but is he able to dodge his Yunie’s charm? Hahahaha…..(just kidding!)

He makes no plan and if he wants to go he’ll just go along with his guts to which I think sometimes he is nuts! “Could you at least check it out? Have you confirmed? Where are you now? What? So What now? Stay put and get help..bla..bla..bla..” I turned out to be a nagging nanny at one point (My eyes are rolling..tist!tist!tist!tist!) Hmm..I wondered if he enjoyed making me being over-the-edge and worrying. “I’ll be ok” That’s what he’ll say in return.

Recently he’s adding more kilos for his six packs (hahahahaha…) but back in my mind I wished I could say “You are really a Panda!” since he is always “I have just eaten but am still hungry” and off he goes for more bites..Geez! Last night he wrote “Hehe..I cannot fit in to my slack and I am zipping half way” I was laughing my head off. I feel sorry for him and wish I could help him…(hahahaha..LOL! still laughing! Oo dear..)

“You don’t have to cook tonight, I think I have had enough about food” me, making up story. It is our way to bid goodnight, so we put up some imagination on places we should go or would be doing in our dreams..yes, dream! “Then where are you going?” he asked. “The usual place” I said. For the first time he complaint about us going to my choice of destination. This time he wants us to be in his dream world. “Lets go snorkeling in Similanjau (somewhere in Sarawak)..the water is crystal clear and there are many corals and fishes to see and I want to meet Patrick the Star Fish (from Spongbob, his favaourite)!” he giggles. I was so delighted to hear that he finally cooking up a story instead of me..(hahahahaha…charmed!)

So off we go…snoring zzzzzzzz! (Geez..it is snorkeling la…!)

Secret rendezvous

“Do you want to come?” I asked him

It is a place that only existed in Yuna’s world, just a plain, a grassland, an open space..so wide and serene but I have a favourite spot. It is just by the stream over a slope there’s a shady tree. The stream is crystal clear with lots of beautiful pebbles in it. The weather is fine and windy.

“What do you do?” he wondered
I usually go there for a picnic…relax, lying in the grass. I can even hear the soft trickling sound of the river and the grass whistle when it rubs against each other in the wind. “Ok, I’ll come because I am going to roll in the grass” he said. I laughed because I find it rather odd and funny. Back in my mind that after all the years, I have not told anyone of my secret rendezvous...One must thinking that its weird but to fall asleep I usually imagined of this secret place I’d go to. Just to ease my mind and calm me down.

“I’ll bring the sandwiches and you bring the Ribena” we chuckled. He knows that I am good at setting up mind games which we call it bed time stories just before we bid goodnight. Maybe it is something new to him; maybe he was just being cool and played along; maybe he just want to make me happy…..maybe..maybe..maybe..maybe..

Just use your imagination to make up a wonderful story and adventure, sharing with someone whom you care and who is/are very sporting and it can make your day extra special.

Down..down..down..down...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsnIESGLsfE

Hold on dear Yuna!

It was about this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo0bpPbiUlM
I’ve been listening and singing it over n over to make room and to be free again…Having a fabulous time playing games online and I feel home once again and I am not alone…

I can’t help laughing and admiring the Jonas Brothers did their gig on their official ‘Hold On’ video clips…I feel my room lighten up, with my guitar hero in my hand, following Kevin’s dance and movement and pretending I am with them too….wuhoo!

“We don’t have time left to regret (hold on)
It will take more than common sense (hold on)
So stop your wondering take a stand (hold on)
There's more to life than just to live (hold on)

'cause an empty room can be so loud
It's too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on”

I have lost too many friends…friends that hurt my feelings..
I forgive them and I hope they enjoyed the friendship that I gave or offer..
I don’t need more…just be with me drowning my empty room with so call friends who believe in sincerity and simplicity…

Hmm..sometimes I am a bit hard and yet I am not pretending
Rest assure, I was just helping…
So come on and sing with me if you believe in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhlcOMxBMoo

“When it falls apart
And your feeling lost
All your hope is gone
don’t forget to hold on, hold on”

I am nobody’s baby

“u r a different girl” he said about me.

Lets talk about this, me being different and I think everyone has the right to be different, their own identity. ‘u r the first gamer girl that I come to know’ he explained. At first I was a bit apprehend with that statement. I believe there are many other girls gamer in the world. But perception works differently through the eyes of a person.

By nature, I am a very private person. One hardly sees me mingle but I am quiet popular with the people who knows me who I am…a blogger and a gamer. Just asked me, I’ll sincerely help out but just don’t bark at me. I retreat and won’t come around to appear helpful. I’ll just go away and do my own things. A lady, I believe was trying to get to know me better but she find it hard to reach me and maybe that’s where the problem started. If you are nice…I am nice too and I am sorry if I am NOT a chatty person. But I AM chatty IF they got my ‘spot’..my attention...my interest…my ‘Whatever’..

“I am going to die chatting with you” he once cracked a joke out of my chattiness. It is because we share the same interest and I feel relax. Maybe due to my different-ness she attacked me …leaving me puzzled and hurt. If she needed help, she can just ask me. If she wants me to respond quickly, she may just informed me. Not judge me through her eagle’s eyes, hawking my activities. What IS the point here? I can’t change and my world is different than that of hers. And so is my circle of friends. I respect her ways of living and hope she respect mine. I am not here to please anyone and I am nobody’s baby too. I am just being who I am, minding my own business.

One should not judge a book by its cover without even reading the summary? Hmm…if you want to get to know me better, try playing Final Fantasy, Resident Evil, Quake, Medal of Honor, Devil May Cry…bla..bla..blab..bla..bla..(games)... where all the boys are! Hahahahaha….XD (just kidding!)

If not, just join the Mybloglog…for I love reading your blog(s). :D

Kung Fu Panda Day!

Last Saturday, I thought of watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but unfortunately it was sold out but Kung Fu Panda…”Hmmm..kids stuff!” I was reluctant to see it but I bought it anyway after the looong que at the CG Mid Valley. “Yunie is at McD, eating French fries, another half hour for Kung Fu Panda” Me exchanging messages with Tenko to kill my boredom. “Kung Fu Panda is the Best and Hilarious! That’s what they say” he replied. Well, he was right! I was laughing at all the funny and brilliant remarks in that movie. I somehow relate the characters in the movie to W.E members in Tribalwars. Gosh! That was even more funnier and was laughing away…I wish I had a friend with me to share with…Geez!

" Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift, that's why it is called the present - Master Oogway (Rebelrednex)..

Hey, go and watch Kung Fu Panda... :-) so many beautiful quotes in it..I love it! you must see the Tigress (Rinoa-san) bashing Tai Lung (DragOOnaire) and Panda (Tenko) saved the W.E members..YEAH! oh yes, other characters are Monkey (Fareeq), Mantis (Cellster), Viper (Huipinglai), Crane (Sir Donicus) and Master Shifu (Ayaghi)... you’ll watch the movie differently which is much more funnier when you replaced the Kung Fu Panda characters to W.E players acting in it...XD.. I am GAMED! Hahahahaha….." I told him

I am glad that I enjoyed the movie but could someone make another Final Fantasy movie please!! It would be heaven to me….oh dear!

I slept early that day as I was getting ready for my usual midnight rendezvous to TW-ing until wee hours in the morning. I looked at the clock it showed 12 midnight and was thinking of someone who would be spending with me at this hour but he can’t. It was a silent evening. I picked up my phone and saw “miss call at 20:00” Geez!
Y:Hello? You called
Him: Ya, I was just making a miss call to you
Y: Oh? I’m sorry I was sleeping at that hour. What’s up?
Him: miss ya
:) yeah, I miss you too (How nice....!)

Just you

Have you ever felt ‘alone’? Yes, just alone.
Sometimes out of the blue when you have a bad day or unpleasant experience and you bottled up …no one to share with ...the problems that are bugging you…make you feel all alone. Sadden by that atmosphere, trying to compose that you are fine but deep inside you almost gave up hope and slowly dying….spiritually dying.

Isolate yourself not just in a room but anywhere. You are not connected and you don’t want to be connected. You are an alien because you felt different than others. Hmm..you just want to be left alone. Your heart sank and you feel that sensation right down to your bone and it is cold. Your eyes swelling in tears, an escape pod of being pressured. You think of no one but yourself…Why Me? Is often the question…Flashes of familiar faces or friends passes by …Yet you don’t care…and you don’t want to be bothered….

“Are you alright?” She asked. “Not really and why?” I said. “You are visiting me.” as she was concerned. “Am I?” I was wondering and not thinking. “You’ve been here before and you were crying” she was recalling. “I just want to sit under that cherry tree and waiting” I explained, not wanting to bother her. “I saw you waited no one but just gazing at the river banks” how true…but how does she know? I wondered. “I AM waiting for someone” I felt the pressure and my eyes swelling in tears. She hugged and patted my back. “I am here now; I’ll stay with you by that tree. I’ll hold your hand if you want to and you can cry as much as you want for I am the other side of you”

Sometimes you need to go to a place where no one knows and you find yourself once again…….

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/extras/stillalive.php

Sabotage

Just last night, I received a sms from Han, my ever ardent W.E member. “Yunie, read my mail” I was online with Tenko, discussing on some plans with him as usual. I was shocked to know that Audun from the tribe *I* has launch a massive attacks to all W.E members. “This is gong to be the prime news in our forum” I told Tenko. And today it is a buzz. Ayaghi, the 2nd in command in K79, was trying to calm our members by advising them on what to do. News posted everywhere…

“Yuna, I have being dismissed by Dakota1213. Who is Dakota1213?” Fareeq, our no. 1 warrior, was puzzled. I was shocked? And I haven’t the slightest idea who that person was..IMPOSSIBLE!..we do not give out special privileges to just anyone but its true..it happens…somehow everything has gone awry “..dimiss..dismiss..dismis..invites..invites..dismiss..invites” were displayed at the board. I was SHOCKED! It was like a war games on dismiss and invites. Tenko did not pick up my calls. I think he was busy tending to that problem. “Duh..He also change our tribe description..don’t worry dear, I’ll fix everything” Tenko sms-ed. Gosh..! W.E has been sabotage! Due to dismissal of members, W.E’s rank from 60 has gone down to 76. Oh..man..what a bad timing, just when we are getting ready with Audun’s inbound. Damn!

I just couldn’t wait to go home and pay more attention to W.E. Attend the disease or whatever bugs in our plans. Giving some love serum for the speedy recovery. At the moment I am sure the General of W.E is doing the best he can to retain back whatever has been lost. That will do, Tenko…that will do…that is all I could think of after hearing from him saving W.E from the disaster. Luckily the General was on guard. Phew!

Please don't cry....

I should be happy today since our tribe W.E in the Tribalwars is ranking no. 61. There have been lot of changes in W.E management as we move forward. The members are very supportive and they are very jovial too. Tenko and I laughed at the jokes on when they finally figure out that yunie10ko and rinoa-san, are girls.

Yet this week is my 'blue' week. I was trying to not to think so much about this but I can't. At time I pause...thinking about him...he seem to be cool...I try to be cool too. My mind was like a projector but going backwards tracing the day we got to know each other. I like him so much as he makes me laugh! A very easy going fella, supportive, comical, hot temper too, forgiving and mischievious. My eyes in tears just the thought of him. I stay silent...most of the time. I know I'm going to miss him so...it will be a silent night....

"Yuna, if u see the Karmen Rider action figure..please don't cry" he seems to know how my heart will sank by just seeing those toys I used to get for him. "I'll remember you for the rest of my life, Yuna" I cannot hold my tears anymore. Am I asking too much because I know the day will come and it wont be the same anymore. I have prepared myself for this situation six months ago. "Naqi, thank you for being my best friend...that is all I need from you...and I am sorry if I did you wrong" It was the saddest moment that we both rained in tears. He kept saying "Love you, Yuna! and don't you cry". I dedicated this song to him as I know I will miss him.....so muchy.....and life has to move on.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8JX8fA-6Ps

Missing you too....

Hello! I m back!

I was away helping out for the Asia Media Summit 2008 at Nikko Hotel for three days. It was tiring but I met a number of wonderful students from Limkokwing University, Botswana and of course some amorous delegates too. It was also wonderful to meet my long time friend, Noraini too... "Yuhoo Yuna, I miss you!". I love joking with her as she is full of life. I envied her sometimes. “Yuna, she’s very nice towards you” my boss, Mary, suddenly voiced. Noraini would do just anything for me making sure I’d be comfortable during my assistance with their Company.

“Yuna! Where have you been? I miss you soooooooooo muchy!” I guess Fareeq was searching high and low and has been wondering on what had happened to me. Out of the blue I was ‘dead’ for 4 days….Hahahaha….( I left offline messages but unfortunately he didn’t get it). Tenko-san was manning W.E while I was away and I would be checking it from 12am until 4am and then catching some sleep before going back to Nikko by 7:30am. On the forth day, I gave in and needed more rest.

“I don’t want to share my Yuna with anyone!” screamed Naqi. Naqi left his messages yesterday morning when a ‘someone’ nosing about me. Naqi, Tenko and I, we have bonded a special kind of friendship…hmm..very hard to explain…all in a virtual manner….accepting who we are…our closeness…we are more than that…so close and yet so far…In reality and yet fairy tales? “Ya, me too!” Tenko felt the same, telling me not to worry so much.

It is nice to know that you are being loved, appreciated and protected.

Alien verses Predator!

Tenko, Fareeq and I, we share some common interest like in games, songs, movies and hobbies. What we love most is about history on wars. The three of us will chat endlessly on war games, weapons, tactics, famous incidents, quotes, war movies…bla….bla…bla…wars! Somehow we ended up playing Tribalwars together. Among three of us, Fareeq is the most aggressive one who will use ‘Command & Conquer’ tactic. He and his fellow comrades act like a pack of wolves bringing down the unwanted players or any threatening players, keeping the peace in K88. Tenko, the assassin type, who loves the under covers’ job, would rather work on his own than in group. “The General, the most important person, would stay behind giving orders and focus on the mission” he said…Ggrrrr..{Oh, yeah?} And me, I am more like an ambassador, a liaison officer, a diplomat, a councilor, bridging a relationship with the other tribes and advisor too to both gentlemen and W.E members. I will try my very best to create rooms for our tribe to grow by creating ideas and visions besides seeking approval by her gentlemen.

Somehow, “You love Aliens?” Fareeq was surprised that I too loves all the Alien movies especially played by the actress, Sigourney Weaver. “Yeah, Predators too!” I declared “but I love Aliens more and Tenko loves Predators” I told him. The boys LOVE predators so much and we were trying to proof which one is the strongest…Alien or Predator?

Boys: Predator!
Me: Alien!
Boys: They are civilized and intelligent, a skilled hunter.
Me: Alien, an intelligent animal who use their basic instinct for survival. They live in a colony and adapt to all kind of surroundings!
Boys: They have cool gadget and superb weaponries
Me: Alien is self proclaimed killer weapon on its own!
Boys: Predator lives on a planet of its own
Me: Alien lives anywhere and everywhere they like...hahahaha…
Boys: ?????
Me: Alien will take any living creatures as their surrogate mother! Hahahaha..you just name it!

Me: Alien marries Predator…a new breed, a Predalien!
Fareeq: You think Alien can dominate Superman?
Me: Why not? A Superalien! Wearing underwear! LOL! Hahahaha…WOW! I have yet to see this because Superalien can fly! Inherit Superman’s abilities…what a bonus indeed!
Fareeq: What about Spiderman? Who is the strongest?
Me: Of course Spidalien! Hahahahahaha……GOSH! Spidalien swinging from web to web!

I was having a fun time already, dodging everything queries from Fareeq on Predator verses Alien. Yeah! I strongly believe that Alien is more dominant than predator. I love the movie where Sigourney Weaver playing the role of part human and part alien…..a Humalien? Don’t be humiliated people for she is the super human breed! Excuse me John Rambo..make way..make way…hahahahaha….Girl Power! Yeah! XD

Respect thy brothers n sisters

I am not sure where to start….

“Yuna, you better watch out! I am going to attack your village” warned GG about his involvement in Tribalwars at World 19. Maybe he was trying to make a comeback to be a best friend like before. He left me 10 months ago and perhaps he forgot about the 10 months of silence and absent. Indeed it was not a laughing matter. “My TW boyfriends are just next to your village. YOU better watch out!” I warned him. How shall I say to him? That in TW, I am NOT the Yuna he used to know…Hahahaha…I have my loyal TW boyfriends who would just make a kill at my order “I have my interest with GG’s village near you for my new villa” I mailed out. “In due time my dear, we will have a tea party at your new villa..LOL!” was the reply. Hmmm…how sweet of him!

“Sms..sms..sms..sms..sms” Han! The most humble W.E members that I know. “Do you want this 3K village?” He sms-ed to me the other day. He’s been very cooperative and willing to give away any villages with good points he had scouted and even cleared the nuisance troops for me, and then offered me like “At your majesty’s service”. I am embarrassed. “Do you want the 5k and 6k villages?” he sms-ed again today. Gosh! This time I turned down his offer “Why don’t you have it Han? You deserved it!”. I have had such offers from my two TW boyfriends and Hey, I have adopted the same concept with my fellow members and friends too, for example, one for Tenko86 and another for Skyhill. Sometimes you take some and you give some. The sacrifices and offers one make to all the good friends. “Yunie, you killed two of my nobleman caused you got that village first” cries the General. “Don’t worry, I will replace it with two more villages for you”

Respect and cooperation will buy you an honour. No matter where you are!

Rinoa-san

Let me tell you about Rinoa-san of W.E. She’s the top player among the members and who have the biggest point and the most villages too. She work hard and play hard. Tenko was right all along to award her with the “War Chief” title for she fought her way up to strengthen W.E position in World 7. She got the right people to be as per personal allies and she’s popular too. Yes, she is. She’s a strong headed and fun girl. Yes, she’s fun. “ Rinoa is popular in TW..heheh.” teased Tenko. “Popular? How do you know?” I asked and was surprised. “Go to the forum, a member called her as My luv..hahaha..” Tenko was mockering. Hahaha…it didn’t stop there. She has two personal ally boyfriends who would give her anything in TW. Oliver wants to give her a villa and Karl will send his support troops and resources whenever she ask for help. Yunie10ko would just wish if only she could be in Rinoa’s shoes. Here is another remarks I saw in another forum “Rinoa-san, she’s my PA..No one touches her” GOSH! She is so damn lucky!

The first thing I do once I reached home is to check with the Tribalwar and check all the accounts I have entrusted if everything is alright. “Hmm…yeah, everything is alright” Read some mails and see W.E’s forum…Hahahaha..another love message posted by Eskapo from Philippine trying to woo her but it won't be that easy....for I know Rinoa huhuhu... I went to Rinoa’s account and there was a recent report stating that during her absent, Rinoa has lost one village. Though she’s the strongest in her tribe, her villages were an easy target as no one attending her village during the day time. “Oh No! That scum-bag Drag00naire!” I screamed. Drag00naire has been Rinoa’s neighbour for quite some time but now he is showing his true colour.

That afternoon, I sent sms to Fareeq and Tenko about Rino-san situation “Rinoa-san is under siege bla..bla..bla..” but no reply…I cannot sit still……Gosh..Tenko please look after Rinoa or she going to lose 3 more villages right under her nose as she is not here to defend her villages. For I know she’s going to be pretty mad ...mad…mad…

p.s. Just got news that she got the helps from..huhuhuhu...all the guys who love her...GOSH! she is so damn lucky!

No more relax?

Last Friday afternoon, my office management have blocked the url to Tribalwars. There goes my free time to monitor the W.E tribe. And I cannot be running to Tenko every time as he has classes during the day time and some assignments during the night time…whatever! So I have divided those tasks into four caretakers, Tenko, Fareeq, Han and Karl. At least I am at eased.

On Monday, my mobile phone was screaming with sms…sms…sms…sms..and calls, all on the updates of Tribalwars especially when I am not online and to be honest, I hate sms! I mean I love receiving sms but I hate it when I have to reply, taping the small buttons on the phone. “Online pls!” I told them. With Instant messenger, there is no limit to message and free from all cost. How convenient! My PC screen was flooded with TW members’ YM and I have been giving orders and advise on what to do plus some lengthy chat on some jokes and links. It was tiring but Wow! At least it is operational from the other hand.

“Yuna, I got a group from TATEC to retaliate. Give me their coordinate” Fareeq our devoted member is a fighter. “I can’t..I m blind! Remember?” as I cannot give him the coordination he required. Oooo..man! What a set back….

In the evening I quickly access the Tribalwars as soon as I reached home. Phew! I feel relieved! Again and again I will briefed Tenko on whatever plans we have. Gosh!I wonder if he ever gets bored for our chat is no longer the fun chat but on Tribalwars…hours and hours…(I am sorry k..!)

Today, “EEEEK..YM have been blocked” There goes my eyes and my ears! Naqi was laughing when he got to know about this. My mobile phone once again screaming with sms..sms..sms..sms..sms…and calls...hahahahaha…there goes my credit too.

Gee whiz! How am I suppose to relax? I need to do something to relax…ooo dear..!!!