A little pain (in me)

This week..I was like...not myself actually.

I was reminiscing those days where I was venturing in the net, Alone!. Yes, I was alone. I went from site to site, blog to blog, forum to forum. Back at home, my head was totally fixed to playing games. And of course, I adore Summoner Yuna Braska from the Final Fantasy 10 so much. I think I have played FF10 3 times but my favourite one is FF8. Played FF8 5 times if not mistaken. I just have to see Squall. I adored him. He's quiet, a leader, caring, full of himself, stubborn and challenging. I think I like a man who could challenge my guts though I'm the quiet type basically. I hardly socialise. I wanted to become Rinoa Heartilly...she's full of life, jovial and zesty like Selphie (FF8) and Rikku (FF10). She turned Squall around from cold hearted selfish guy to a more open person and to love. I like the part when Squall rescued Rinoa in space and the scene in Ragnarok interlude with the song Eyes on Me http://youtube.com/watch?v=HNefNLOHVYk. I cried! I was touched. "Eyes on me'..my first and favourite FF song. ...I miss those days..."Did you ever know that I have mind on you?".

Then in the late February 2007, I found Cakapgold.com (CG). The above picture was my very first avatar. Perhaps, some members still recognised that picture, ff8yuna! I was an active member in that forum and still is. It started from here, I have friends and especially GG, we became good friends, eventually best friends. He shared his knowledge about the Internet world to which he guard his secrets zealously. He shared his world with me. We're close and yet so far.....

"Yuna, please register at Mybloglog" GG advised one day. Mybloglog was like a 'Food Station' to me. Feeding me with more blogs. I was awed at people's blogs and them, reading my blogs. Read..read..read..joined communities and somehow I found good friends especially Anand, Tenko and Naqi. I enjoyed their friendship.

Somehow, my life has changed. From a very quiet and shy girl..to a more open person. And making news friends...though I'm still lack of socialising techniques...no talent on yikkityyak in the open but online, I'm a chatter box! Have I changed too fast? It was just 7 months from then on...

Anyway..I DO miss those days...and I am missing you 'YUNA'! http://youtube.com/watch?v=glanQFGOEIA

(Dedicated to FF8, 'Yuna' was born...Thank you and I love you!)

The dark side of the moon

I'm sorry as I haven't been to Yuna Sphere for quite some times. I'm awfully busy at the office from 9:00am till 11:00 at night, until early November. And boy, I really can't wait when it is over. Then, I'll be back to my usual work and spend more time to blog, forum, surfing and help my wonder online pals.

Tenko showed me his journals which was interesting, about Artificial Intelligence and his work. " I haven't finished compiling my journals and there's some translation to do" he said. "Hey, I'm here. I can help you with that translation but I can't at the moment" I offered. "YUUNNNAAA! are you there?" Anand will contact me everyday. But of late we hardly chat. "I have work" and he'll piped down and say "Ok, work pls" and "Hey, work la..!" if I continued to bla..bla..bla..bla..But today he was happy that India had won the World Cup Cricket. For the past few days he's been trying to catch-up with me and explaining on Crickets..his sport passion. Giving some links from YouTube on India's match. "Anand, I'm not a sport girl..I'm clueless!" I reminded him. "I know! hahahaha...but I want to tell you".

And here I am, wondering on what to write and I felt "Weird" because Yuna Sphere is my passion. I used to write everyday but of late....where IS my inspiration? Maybe I'm tired and I'm at the dark side of the moon..."Dada~!" I bid goodnight where day and night are just the same...

Electric blue

Busy..busy...busy...busy...bzzz...bzzz...bzzz...as a bee. Registration forms from the members are pouring in for this year's General Assembly and associated meetings which will be held in Tehran, Iran. As usual, nearing to the deadline of special discount, people rushes to get that offer before it closes. And worse still, they couldn't even fill in the form correctly..missing some vital information here and there for visa purposes....and Hello! do you think that these heads need to be nuke? Of course I'm a bit GGrrrrr!!...trying to read those scribbling hand written which even the 5 year old kid can do better.

What do I have for breaking my fast? I had a whopper burger king! I had it with Pei San, an intern who is working very close with me on this project. We had fun...and you bet! I'd make sure that to those who is with me to have fun and laughter. No qualms and no sweat. Whatever the problems we have, we sees the funny side of it. If someone trying to bully us...I'd step forward and summoned my Aeons as usual! hahahaha.....I talked Pei San into my other world...my electronic world where I blog, my forums, my games and my Final Fantasy

and my little friends (online) whose heads are at war with me hahahaha...All for the laughter and all for one! Pei San sees my brown eyes turned to electric blue!

No..no..no..I'm not using blue contact lenses...it was just a figure of speech...being an internet surfer..hahahahah....

ok..ok..ok..I'm disconnecting...there's work to do..!

Bet on It

I was watching High School Musical 2 with my grandma! Yeah...you can bet on it! hahahaha...
Love all the songs and dances. More energetic than the first one. Yeah..you can bet on it! But I love this one ..Bet on it!


Lyric:
Everybody's always talkin' at me
Everybody's tryin' to get in my head
I wanna listen to my own heart talkin'
I need to count on myself instead

Did you ever
Lose yourself to get what you want
Did you ever
Get on a ride and wanna get off
Did you ever
Push away the ones you should've held close
Did you ever let go
Did you ever not know

I'm not gonna stop
That's who I am
I'll give it all I got
That is my plan
Will I find what I lost
You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it (Bet on me)
I wanna make it right
That is the way
To turn my life around
Today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it

How will I know if there's a path worth takin'
Should I question every move I make
With all I've lost, my heart is breakin'
I don't wanna make the same mistakes

Did you ever
Doubt your dream will ever come true
Did you ever
Blame the world but never blame you
I will never
Try to live a lie again
I don't wanna win this game if I can't play it my way

I'm not gonna stop
That's who I am (Who I am)
I'll give it all I got
That is my plan (That's my plan)
Will I find what I lost
You know you can (You know you can)
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it (Bet on me)
I wanna make it right
That is the way
To turn my life around
Today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it

Oh, hold up
Give me room to think
Bring it on down
Gotta work on my swing
Gotta do my own thing
Hold up

It's no good at all
To see yourself and not recognize your face
Out on my own
It's such a scary place
Ooh
The answers are all inside of me
All I gotta do
Is believe

I'm not gonna stop
Not gonna stop till I get my shot
That's who I am
That is my plan
Will I end up on top again
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, you can
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it (Bet On Me)
I wanna make it right
That is the way
To turn my life around
Today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it

You can bet on me

Aerith Gainsborough

It is about Aerith.

Anand: Search for Aerith. I Like her very much!
Well, this is for you Anand! I hope you like it.

Aerith Gainsborough (エアリス・ゲインズブール, Earisu Geinzubūru?) — known as Aeris Gainsborough in English translations of Final Fantasy VII — is a female protagonist in Squaresoft's (now Square Enix) role-playing game Final Fantasy VII.

Aeris Gainsborough is introduced in Final Fantasy VII as flower girl, when she collides into Cloud Strife, who is fleeing from the scene of a bombed Mako reactor caused by himself and Avalanche.

Aerith makes several appearances throughout the course of the movie, The Advent Children, as Cloud's spiritual guide, urging him to move on in life and to forgive himself for the tragedies that were beyond his control and that she never blamed him for her death. In the final scene of the movie, along with Zack, where she gives Cloud more words of encouragement, before she and Zack turn and walk into white light. Cloud smiles at her as she leaves, and it should be noted that it is the first and only time for him to smile in the movie.

Her introduction, appearance and her ending had been a mysterious kind and yet so pure and divine. Her presence makes me feel calm and soothing and wished she wasn't killed for I'd love to see the restless Cloud to smile again. Aerith! your name bloomed you as the perfect girl, someones desire. And you seem to be like an illusive dream just like this theme http://youtube.com/watch?v=7UODCxAtyDo

An Andriod Yuna

Get Your Cyborg Name

I was Laughing-out-LOUD when I got this (see above) from Tenko last night!That was Oh! so so sooooo cooool! Y.U.N.A., a Yelling and Ultimate Nullification Android. We laughed hysterically when we typed other names. It was fun and full of laughter!

Get Your Cyborg Name

And Tenko, he loved his new name (read above) especially being a nocturnal...hahahaha...Yessie! active playing games like 24/7 'Killing Organism'...Oh! how true! He's a MEAN Killing Machine when it comes to games. He's about to become a Jedi! hahahaha...To be knighted!hahaha...An Admiral too...Hello! huhuhuhu.....Tenno Electronic Nocturnal Killing Olympian woweeee!!!

Get Your Cyborg Name

Well...if anyone wants to join the fun..you have to go through N.A.Q.I. See if he can gives you the ticket for infiltration hahahaha....Anything for laughter and good times! Hey! wait a minute...hehehehe what about GG? Gratification Guardian! ok..ok..he's my guardian angel. Thank you!

Have fun people!

Kamen Rider!

Tenko: Naqi is back from his dating!

His best friend informed me. And within few minutes, I received a file from Naqi, showing off his latest Kamen Rider's collection, Kamen Ryuga (see left picture). He talks about it and his other collections. And I, told him about things I bought related to Final Fantasy.

Kamen Rider Ryuga, is a fictional character in the tokusatsu production Kamen Rider Ryuki. He is one of the 13 Kamen Riders the story revolves around. Aside from a brief cameo in the TV Special 13 Riders, his only screen appearance was in the movie Episode: Final. He is portrayed by Takamasa Suga.

"Actually, my favourite is Kamen Rider Kaboto (see picture on the right) but it is not on the shelf." Yeah..just ask Naqi about Kamen Rider and he talks about it passionately and from A to Z. If he had the time and if you gave him time, it would be like 24/7 and all the files related to it for your info..hahahaha....digest that please! It would be his pleasure! Here are some info on; Kamen Rider Kabuto (仮面ライダーカブト, Kamen Raidā Kabuto?) is the main protagonist of Kamen Rider Kabuto. Its design is based on a "Kabutomushi" or Japanese rhinoceros beetle. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamen_Rider_Kabuto_%28character%29

Naqi had sent me a number of files related to this. "How can I slot in all those pictures la..." And if I could, I would! I feel that IF there was such costume, Naqi would be buying it. If there was such belt selling in the market...he would buy too. And IF there was such helmet! hahahaha...Naqi! I can just imagined you wearing it! OMG! hahahaha......
Hmmm...would your girl mind wearing such helmet too? Geez...!!What a sport!

Wild World

Close my eyes, imagined! Brought me back to the time where we hardly talk. My teary eyes staring at his mixed feelings face. He hold on to me...don't want to let go (?).....

I remembered he said "Yuna, this song is for you http://youtube.com/watch?v=jVSqTHWc6jw" I just smiled.

At home, I was confused with the lyric at '''if you want to leave take good care.." for I wasn't the one who left but him...for good (?).

Until today, I cannot bear to hear Cat Stevens singing the Wild World. But last night, I was called to hear it. "Yuna, Goodnight! I'm sorry if I made you cry" said a good friend who was concerned over my well being after we somehow accidentally discussed about my past. "Hey, lets just call in for the night, will you" he added. "OK, I need to be myself for awhile...you go ahead" for I was reminiscing back to the time where there was 'You and I"

Sweet Dream! http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q3bvOP01h9Y

Champagne and Ice Cream!

Anand, my fellow buddy from Bangalore will YM, "HIIIII YYYYYUUUUUNNNNAAAA!!!" every weekdays. A very interesting guy to chat with. We talk about our lives, work and share our ups and downs. So in between our official work, we check out each other. He is more like a companion when I work. "Yuna, are you there?" his message will appear when there is a long silence from me. "Yeah, I'm here, there's work!" He will, "Ok, work comes first!".

I was bored yesterday. He seems to know the reasons why I was feeling like that. Anand has always been a good advisor. I think, though I didn't say about 'something' but deep down inside him knew the truth on what has been troubling or bothering me. The sacrificial I did was just not mere or plain happiness but for the betterment of any involvements. The plain truth is so heart retching and far fetch....shall I say.

"I am bored" he said today. He was in the training room and yet he YM-ed. "I knew all these programmes!!" he continued. So we played with emoticons...making sure he laughed and forget about his boredom and keep him company. Anand created this, *>-], a Champagne and I created this G>-], an ice cream. Great! isn't it? "Hey, GG and I SMS-ed each other when he was hospitalised to kill his boredom" I told Anand. I'd do anything to cheer up my fellow friends...Aiyoooo!

Before the day end, "Yuna, actually I cannot view your emoticons (the advanced emoticons)" he said before he bid goodbye. "What? why didn't you say so earlier?" I was surprised. "But thank you. I had a great time with you today. Oh yes, thank you for the 'White Flag' by Dido ... it is one of my favourite actually"

More about Anand; http://anandborarnc.googlepages.com/

He loves Art!

The kiss on the forehead

The "kiss on the forehead" what does it mean?.

I've read somewhere and that when a guy kissed on the forehead means more on than a kiss on the lips. Analyze this...I got it covered! hahahaha...

From 'How to know if a guy loves you.
76. WHEN HE KISSIES YOUR FOREHEAD. - la Chula

94. When he kissing your forehead and say i love you too much. No one can replace you in my heart. I'm gonna miss u every minute.... - Sheera

From a forum
Natalya said...
To those of you who think that a kiss on the forehead means nothing, you are wrong. Don't you realise that not every man is the same? A kiss means something different to every single being on this earth, whether it be on the lips or forehead. Try and figure out the meaning for yourself, what do YOU feel when his lips touch your forehead? A kiss can transfer so many feelings within a split second, just feel whether or not there's something there. Still can't tell what it means? Then just straight up ask the guy what he means when he kisses you there, if he cant give you an answer that you like, then don't waste your time.

Lilith said...
Thank you, Natalya! You took the words right out of my mouth! We should try to avoid over-analyzing these simple, yet meaningful gestures of tenderness. Everyone has their own definition of the 'forehead' kiss, and honestly, if you don't like (or understand) it - just tell the guy, love! Most men aren't exactly intuitive creatures, so they can't read our minds unless they just happen to be a spawn of Dr. Phil. I have been an ardent feminist for three years, and it never occurred to me that this endearing gesture was patronizing in any way. In my opinion, the forehead kiss is a type of kiss liberated from any constraints , which implies that I could give it to anyone I feel affectionately about. Quite contrary to the belief presented here - I believe the forehead kiss isn't at all subordinate to the lip kiss; it conveys warmth, and compassion better than the latter, actually.

Anyone else like being kissed on the forehead? I think it is very loving and personal....it always gives me a reassuring feeling. I do have one rule though, do not kiss me on the forehead unless you are in love with me...what is your point of view on this type kissing? .....- berrysweetncgurl

From answer.yahoo.com!
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
A kiss on the forehead is a sweet, innocent way of saying he cares about you and you matter to him. There is a gallant, protective meaning behind a forehead kiss - but that doesn't necessarily mean it is romantic. However, if it was "at a party" it is likely he has romantic intentions, and is working his courage up slowly. A forehead kiss is a good way to show someone you care without coming on too strong - it is caring and respectful.
Best Regards, Holly

Supernerd: He care deeply about you. That is the plain and simple truth.

Stumped: It means he'll really care for you, because that's a very endearing gesture.........

From kissomatic.com: Kiss on the Forehead
Possibly the only kiss that can convey ultimate gentleness of soul, and pureness of intention, a kiss on the forehead symbolizes love in its purest form, untainted with the pitfalls of romance. A gentle kiss on the forehead can bring serenity to the recipient and the epitome of the kissers caring nature. A father's kiss on his daughter's forehead, or a young man's kiss on his aging mother's, there is nothing that can take away from that gentleness.

It doesn't matter what other people think and what would the definition be. The way I see it or I feel it, kiss on the forehead is very comforting indeed, besides the 'I love you' planted in your head. And I agreed with 'berrysweetncgurl' that 'Do not kiss me on the forehead unless you are in love with me' thingy...huhuhuhu...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uB6xURtbeIE

Change of wind

Been busy since Friday. Well... who said that "Enjoy your weekends!" is enjoyable. I haven't been free since the Independence day which falls on 31st August. I was 'zoomed!' to Malacca and then 'zoomed!' to Senawang and then 'Zoomed" to my Chinese brother's fruits shop and lastly "zoomed!' to Paya Jaras.

I was at my Chinese brother's shop in Imbi and some how I thought about GG. Was wondering what he's been up to. Ordered some fruits for him. Actually I'm not good at bargaining..I'll just pick and buy. "You should choose like this and that" Adnan's wife said. "Aiyoo! Yuna...you are clueless on shopping!" she said. She's right! I don't how to shop at wet market. Pardon me. Then "Beep! beep! beep! beep!" GG had SMS-ed asking where I had gone. My intuition is always right! Never mind, it is useless to explain further about a girl's intuition. Quickly got home and on-lined with GG as I have another wedding to attend in the afternoon.

In the evening, we had a family gathering at Paya Jaras. Everyone was there. Got lost on my way home as I was driving to unfamiliar roads. I told Naqi on what had happened at Paya Jaras. I was upset with Shahroll, my close cousin who was distanced from me. "You know.., I was hurt because we are close and I would like to know her better" confided with Naqi. "Yuna, it is a natural thing, of course he was looking after his fiance's feeling and interest, knowing you both are close even though first cousins, his fiance may dislike it. It is a girl's thing!" he explained.

Told Naqi the reasons I hate being too close with anyone...because it hurts when there's a change of wind. In fact, too many changes of late...

I wonder if Dotty change too....(???)