Go stealth

I was a bit taken when he was screaming from the other end like “Damn! You wasted my time!”...thats what I felt. Confusion set in or was I too much? I felt guilty of course and I thought about our nuts, chasing round the bush, exchanging words and our findings trying to find a solution over a non important matter which we thought it was from the beginning…(oh dear!). I went into ‘vacuum’ and isolate myself. I don’t want to think further more but ‘Sorry..sorry..sorry..’

A friend was wondering if I am ok since I was quiet and didn’t say much. I have been receiving a number of negative energies and this small one just added to my blue mood. Ever since ‘I will be off during your General Assembly” My lips were tighten and tears envelope my eyes. I don’t want to show my sorrow and I don’t want to spoil whatever left we had. Days are numbered. For a while I was staring blindly and couldn’t think until he asked “What were you doing?” that brought me back to just play along and have a good chat till morning after. “Don’t make any promises” I once told him for I hate promises. They are either to be kept or broken. I rather take my days run freely and no empty promises.

Sometimes I thought of good friends I have and had. I just wish I could start all over again and maintain the friendship like the beginning of our acquaintance. Those days were more fun and full of laughter. I think they probably agreed.

Windows were wide open and now shutters have set up and soon the blind will completely close and there is only one door...and go stealth

Fatal Flaw by South Jordan

I love this song so much!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9k61jX_G_k

They told me be careful
They said be weary of you
They warned: persistence is the fatal flaw
I find myself waiting
I find myself hoping that you’d
One day fall into my open arms

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

I’ve been here a time or two
Trying to fight the dying breath
Why is every step I take so damn hard
I got some battle wounds from this
I got the sinking feeling in my skin
I’m getting tired of the night
I’m waiting for your light

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

They said be weary of you
They warned: persistence is the fatal flaw.

W.E is moving up!

It has been many days, Tenko and I, have been playing ‘Spore’ before we check into our Tribalwars game. Beside that, we’ll be sending SuperPoke messages in MySpace, plus playing with our SuperPoke pet Tigers. We love to see whose pet is the most decorated pet. Hahahaha...."Yunie, my Vampire is now level 6” He said last night and showed me the screen shot. I was like “Aaarrgghh!" when I got to know he named ME for his vampire. Geez! I haven’t been playing the Vampire game for many days but I am right behind him (Level 5)..Hmm..I’ll catch up =D

Just two nights ago we were discussing about the growth of our tribe in Tribalwars. The morning after he sent me an interesting text messaging to which I was not surprised at all. Tribe *I* has offered us a mergence with them. Our tribe will be an extension to the second largest and strongest tribe in World 7. Just a month ago we have been trying to get a new sub-tribe called ‘W.E-R’, an academy to the parent tribe, W.E. There were two other tribes offered to become our Academy but were irrelevant. And ever since our encounter with the *I* member council, we have been corresponding non stop, making deals and proposals. We always do what is best for our members. Our members don’t really know the bruises and wounds we had to endure to bring up W.E. It has always been about them, our members. And, it is also about our achievement too, our rank was 28 just two days ago. =)

Today, 6th October, 2008, Tribe Yunie aka W.E is officially known as *I*-R, the most influence tribe in World 7. Ironically there is a similarity of ‘R’ (Recruit) on making an Academy. “Yunie, I know you would love to keep the name W.E ” he said the night before, sensing the restless in me since I didn’t talk much. This time, I let him have the upper hand, his tribe, his decision. Tears swelling from the corner of my eyes, not wanting him to know the real truth how I felt that night.

I couldn’t hold on anymore and I had to let it out, I was crying when I saw W.E as *I*-R. I underestimate myself of wanting the changes, which benefit the members. I felt the lost for losing the original identity...our main purpose in playing Tribalwars. Tenko was not available but I am also not so sure if he could handle my sorrow. “Houston! We have trouble!” I quickly called Naqi and the rain set in.

In memory: 19 November 2008, is W.E’s 1st anniversary

OK and not ok

Ok…..not ok…..ok…..not ok….ok…not ok
Yeah, I am getting fed-up of can’t be doing much of late. Most of my activities have been slowed down…I will online occasionally just to catch up with him. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Nothing, just with you” for I have no energy just to browse my usual routine checking on the Tribalwars and others. I just want to chat after hours and hours of sleeping and recuperating. My mum will come in once a while to check if I am ok.

“If you are not well, please don’t go or you’ll be sick” he advised on my pre-planned Saturday outings. It was a great Saturday and text him once a while, ‘There’s a cosplay at Mid Valley’. My supposed to be shopping was ditched and went to the Convention Center instead, participated in some online games just to get that blown-up Panda Toy. My feet were aching and the blisters were slowing my strut…Geez! Later on, gave him full details of whatever fun and the spoilt dinner we all had. It was great but not to the fullest, it could have been better. I woke the next day with heavy head and exhaustion was hampering me all day.

Last night, after played ‘Spore’ for awhile, I told him the frustration I felt on being sick and not able to be active for the past week. I felt guilty of leaving all the Tribalwars’ matters to him alone and promise to come back once I am truly alright. “Can you handle it?” seeking assurance.. He is the most patient guy I know who will absorb anything I give…time, disappointment, anger, fun, laughter and endearment…He IS the Panda! Rough but yet gentle where I usually will run to him for comforting. As for Tribalwars concerned, he knows that I’ll defend and fought for him to the fullest. If not, what is ‘W.E ’ (tribe) without him and me. We are partners! And as for the sick me…I am a fighter…his side kicks…is fighting out to kick some butts!

Feeling weak and drousy....
Just you wait Eden Prime, I am on my way there…
The deep purple will fall when the blue and the red moons are high above and we’ll be counting stars for the Burger King wars! Hahahaha…yeah..Whoopers! ZZZZZZZzzzzzz……

W.E!

Hi

It has been awhile I have not blog. Busy as ever!
But last night, I discussed about our tribe’s next plan with my Tribalwars partner, Tenko, leader of Yunie tribe aka W.E (Whatever!). We were surprised that though most of our members are and were under siege but our ranking is still rising. Surprisingly more players wanted to join our tribe. There is nothing special in our tribe as we are neither fighters nor looking for trouble. Unlike our allies who have more fighters in their tribe where some of our members joint venture with them taking other players’ villages.

Looks like the 2nd biggest tribe *I* aka Immortal is pounding on tribes like us and our allies to gain more points to conquer the North, South and West for coalition, to be the number ONE in World 7 where T.F.B aka The Fluffy Bunny has been holding the trophy for such a long time. Wake up T.F.B!

“What is your next plan, Yunie?” He asked.
Well, I thought W.E should have more grounds in world 7. Just last Sunday, I have sent nobles out to conquer some villages at another continent and thus explaining to Tenko on our movement to settle in the center block of world 7 and then spread out like a star. “It is like the Chinese!” I told him. “You know, there are china town in every country in this world and I want to adopt that plan” I smiled. And yet, time is the factor. I am wondering for how long we are going to play this game. It is not easy to be the Duke and Baron in the tribe. We don’t play full time and will log in whenever we can. “Tenko, we did well ha? We are rank 32 in World 7! Best fifties! I never thought we could go this far and that we have so many members now….Are we going for 20?” The feeling was so soothing and damn proud of our achievement.

W.E’ll see…!

Colours of the day

Grey
There is a period I call it Grey Period as nothing seems right as planned, wrong words, wrong perception, misunderstanding, bad news and nothing seems to be over whelming; hurt and sadness goes deeper and deeper.

Blue
I felt blue and can’t even lift a smile. My mind wonders away thinking and thinking and perhaps rerun of the incident which I wish I could have make changes, to make a difference, to make a mend. Teary eyes reflect the pain and sorrow in me.

White
This could be pure and my internal instinct has not betrayed me at all. It could also mean that I am worried and scared shit to lose a valuable asset. Picture framed, hoping to steal the moment to stand still.

Red
My heart beats faster and harder. I am alive but life is like dead….will I bleed for you?

Black
It does not resemble evil but restoring my sanction, back to my cold dark room.

Yellow
A bright light showers me with warmth and kindness, hugs and kisses that still waits for my return patiently.

Purple
I brave the storm. In silent no words express my sadness moment….

Charming!

Ever since we became closer, our conversations are more casual and relax…buddies! He’s very open and we are very playful. I used to say that he’s mysterious and I think he like the idea of me portraying him as Cloud Strife (FF7 protagonist)who is sensual, quiet, a loner and mysterious. From my point of view, he likes to be in control of himself but is he able to dodge his Yunie’s charm? Hahahaha…..(just kidding!)

He makes no plan and if he wants to go he’ll just go along with his guts to which I think sometimes he is nuts! “Could you at least check it out? Have you confirmed? Where are you now? What? So What now? Stay put and get help..bla..bla..bla..” I turned out to be a nagging nanny at one point (My eyes are rolling..tist!tist!tist!tist!) Hmm..I wondered if he enjoyed making me being over-the-edge and worrying. “I’ll be ok” That’s what he’ll say in return.

Recently he’s adding more kilos for his six packs (hahahahaha…) but back in my mind I wished I could say “You are really a Panda!” since he is always “I have just eaten but am still hungry” and off he goes for more bites..Geez! Last night he wrote “Hehe..I cannot fit in to my slack and I am zipping half way” I was laughing my head off. I feel sorry for him and wish I could help him…(hahahaha..LOL! still laughing! Oo dear..)

“You don’t have to cook tonight, I think I have had enough about food” me, making up story. It is our way to bid goodnight, so we put up some imagination on places we should go or would be doing in our dreams..yes, dream! “Then where are you going?” he asked. “The usual place” I said. For the first time he complaint about us going to my choice of destination. This time he wants us to be in his dream world. “Lets go snorkeling in Similanjau (somewhere in Sarawak)..the water is crystal clear and there are many corals and fishes to see and I want to meet Patrick the Star Fish (from Spongbob, his favaourite)!” he giggles. I was so delighted to hear that he finally cooking up a story instead of me..(hahahahaha…charmed!)

So off we go…snoring zzzzzzzz! (Geez..it is snorkeling la…!)

Secret rendezvous

“Do you want to come?” I asked him

It is a place that only existed in Yuna’s world, just a plain, a grassland, an open space..so wide and serene but I have a favourite spot. It is just by the stream over a slope there’s a shady tree. The stream is crystal clear with lots of beautiful pebbles in it. The weather is fine and windy.

“What do you do?” he wondered
I usually go there for a picnic…relax, lying in the grass. I can even hear the soft trickling sound of the river and the grass whistle when it rubs against each other in the wind. “Ok, I’ll come because I am going to roll in the grass” he said. I laughed because I find it rather odd and funny. Back in my mind that after all the years, I have not told anyone of my secret rendezvous...One must thinking that its weird but to fall asleep I usually imagined of this secret place I’d go to. Just to ease my mind and calm me down.

“I’ll bring the sandwiches and you bring the Ribena” we chuckled. He knows that I am good at setting up mind games which we call it bed time stories just before we bid goodnight. Maybe it is something new to him; maybe he was just being cool and played along; maybe he just want to make me happy…..maybe..maybe..maybe..maybe..

Just use your imagination to make up a wonderful story and adventure, sharing with someone whom you care and who is/are very sporting and it can make your day extra special.

Down..down..down..down...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsnIESGLsfE

Hold on dear Yuna!

It was about this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo0bpPbiUlM
I’ve been listening and singing it over n over to make room and to be free again…Having a fabulous time playing games online and I feel home once again and I am not alone…

I can’t help laughing and admiring the Jonas Brothers did their gig on their official ‘Hold On’ video clips…I feel my room lighten up, with my guitar hero in my hand, following Kevin’s dance and movement and pretending I am with them too….wuhoo!

“We don’t have time left to regret (hold on)
It will take more than common sense (hold on)
So stop your wondering take a stand (hold on)
There's more to life than just to live (hold on)

'cause an empty room can be so loud
It's too many tears to drown them out
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on”

I have lost too many friends…friends that hurt my feelings..
I forgive them and I hope they enjoyed the friendship that I gave or offer..
I don’t need more…just be with me drowning my empty room with so call friends who believe in sincerity and simplicity…

Hmm..sometimes I am a bit hard and yet I am not pretending
Rest assure, I was just helping…
So come on and sing with me if you believe in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhlcOMxBMoo

“When it falls apart
And your feeling lost
All your hope is gone
don’t forget to hold on, hold on”

I am nobody’s baby

“u r a different girl” he said about me.

Lets talk about this, me being different and I think everyone has the right to be different, their own identity. ‘u r the first gamer girl that I come to know’ he explained. At first I was a bit apprehend with that statement. I believe there are many other girls gamer in the world. But perception works differently through the eyes of a person.

By nature, I am a very private person. One hardly sees me mingle but I am quiet popular with the people who knows me who I am…a blogger and a gamer. Just asked me, I’ll sincerely help out but just don’t bark at me. I retreat and won’t come around to appear helpful. I’ll just go away and do my own things. A lady, I believe was trying to get to know me better but she find it hard to reach me and maybe that’s where the problem started. If you are nice…I am nice too and I am sorry if I am NOT a chatty person. But I AM chatty IF they got my ‘spot’..my attention...my interest…my ‘Whatever’..

“I am going to die chatting with you” he once cracked a joke out of my chattiness. It is because we share the same interest and I feel relax. Maybe due to my different-ness she attacked me …leaving me puzzled and hurt. If she needed help, she can just ask me. If she wants me to respond quickly, she may just informed me. Not judge me through her eagle’s eyes, hawking my activities. What IS the point here? I can’t change and my world is different than that of hers. And so is my circle of friends. I respect her ways of living and hope she respect mine. I am not here to please anyone and I am nobody’s baby too. I am just being who I am, minding my own business.

One should not judge a book by its cover without even reading the summary? Hmm…if you want to get to know me better, try playing Final Fantasy, Resident Evil, Quake, Medal of Honor, Devil May Cry…bla..bla..blab..bla..bla..(games)... where all the boys are! Hahahahaha….XD (just kidding!)

If not, just join the Mybloglog…for I love reading your blog(s). :D

Kung Fu Panda Day!

Last Saturday, I thought of watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but unfortunately it was sold out but Kung Fu Panda…”Hmmm..kids stuff!” I was reluctant to see it but I bought it anyway after the looong que at the CG Mid Valley. “Yunie is at McD, eating French fries, another half hour for Kung Fu Panda” Me exchanging messages with Tenko to kill my boredom. “Kung Fu Panda is the Best and Hilarious! That’s what they say” he replied. Well, he was right! I was laughing at all the funny and brilliant remarks in that movie. I somehow relate the characters in the movie to W.E members in Tribalwars. Gosh! That was even more funnier and was laughing away…I wish I had a friend with me to share with…Geez!

" Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift, that's why it is called the present - Master Oogway (Rebelrednex)..

Hey, go and watch Kung Fu Panda... :-) so many beautiful quotes in it..I love it! you must see the Tigress (Rinoa-san) bashing Tai Lung (DragOOnaire) and Panda (Tenko) saved the W.E members..YEAH! oh yes, other characters are Monkey (Fareeq), Mantis (Cellster), Viper (Huipinglai), Crane (Sir Donicus) and Master Shifu (Ayaghi)... you’ll watch the movie differently which is much more funnier when you replaced the Kung Fu Panda characters to W.E players acting in it...XD.. I am GAMED! Hahahahaha….." I told him

I am glad that I enjoyed the movie but could someone make another Final Fantasy movie please!! It would be heaven to me….oh dear!

I slept early that day as I was getting ready for my usual midnight rendezvous to TW-ing until wee hours in the morning. I looked at the clock it showed 12 midnight and was thinking of someone who would be spending with me at this hour but he can’t. It was a silent evening. I picked up my phone and saw “miss call at 20:00” Geez!
Y:Hello? You called
Him: Ya, I was just making a miss call to you
Y: Oh? I’m sorry I was sleeping at that hour. What’s up?
Him: miss ya
:) yeah, I miss you too (How nice....!)

Just you

Have you ever felt ‘alone’? Yes, just alone.
Sometimes out of the blue when you have a bad day or unpleasant experience and you bottled up …no one to share with ...the problems that are bugging you…make you feel all alone. Sadden by that atmosphere, trying to compose that you are fine but deep inside you almost gave up hope and slowly dying….spiritually dying.

Isolate yourself not just in a room but anywhere. You are not connected and you don’t want to be connected. You are an alien because you felt different than others. Hmm..you just want to be left alone. Your heart sank and you feel that sensation right down to your bone and it is cold. Your eyes swelling in tears, an escape pod of being pressured. You think of no one but yourself…Why Me? Is often the question…Flashes of familiar faces or friends passes by …Yet you don’t care…and you don’t want to be bothered….

“Are you alright?” She asked. “Not really and why?” I said. “You are visiting me.” as she was concerned. “Am I?” I was wondering and not thinking. “You’ve been here before and you were crying” she was recalling. “I just want to sit under that cherry tree and waiting” I explained, not wanting to bother her. “I saw you waited no one but just gazing at the river banks” how true…but how does she know? I wondered. “I AM waiting for someone” I felt the pressure and my eyes swelling in tears. She hugged and patted my back. “I am here now; I’ll stay with you by that tree. I’ll hold your hand if you want to and you can cry as much as you want for I am the other side of you”

Sometimes you need to go to a place where no one knows and you find yourself once again…….

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/extras/stillalive.php

Sabotage

Just last night, I received a sms from Han, my ever ardent W.E member. “Yunie, read my mail” I was online with Tenko, discussing on some plans with him as usual. I was shocked to know that Audun from the tribe *I* has launch a massive attacks to all W.E members. “This is gong to be the prime news in our forum” I told Tenko. And today it is a buzz. Ayaghi, the 2nd in command in K79, was trying to calm our members by advising them on what to do. News posted everywhere…

“Yuna, I have being dismissed by Dakota1213. Who is Dakota1213?” Fareeq, our no. 1 warrior, was puzzled. I was shocked? And I haven’t the slightest idea who that person was..IMPOSSIBLE!..we do not give out special privileges to just anyone but its true..it happens…somehow everything has gone awry “..dimiss..dismiss..dismis..invites..invites..dismiss..invites” were displayed at the board. I was SHOCKED! It was like a war games on dismiss and invites. Tenko did not pick up my calls. I think he was busy tending to that problem. “Duh..He also change our tribe description..don’t worry dear, I’ll fix everything” Tenko sms-ed. Gosh..! W.E has been sabotage! Due to dismissal of members, W.E’s rank from 60 has gone down to 76. Oh..man..what a bad timing, just when we are getting ready with Audun’s inbound. Damn!

I just couldn’t wait to go home and pay more attention to W.E. Attend the disease or whatever bugs in our plans. Giving some love serum for the speedy recovery. At the moment I am sure the General of W.E is doing the best he can to retain back whatever has been lost. That will do, Tenko…that will do…that is all I could think of after hearing from him saving W.E from the disaster. Luckily the General was on guard. Phew!

Please don't cry....

I should be happy today since our tribe W.E in the Tribalwars is ranking no. 61. There have been lot of changes in W.E management as we move forward. The members are very supportive and they are very jovial too. Tenko and I laughed at the jokes on when they finally figure out that yunie10ko and rinoa-san, are girls.

Yet this week is my 'blue' week. I was trying to not to think so much about this but I can't. At time I pause...thinking about him...he seem to be cool...I try to be cool too. My mind was like a projector but going backwards tracing the day we got to know each other. I like him so much as he makes me laugh! A very easy going fella, supportive, comical, hot temper too, forgiving and mischievious. My eyes in tears just the thought of him. I stay silent...most of the time. I know I'm going to miss him so...it will be a silent night....

"Yuna, if u see the Karmen Rider action figure..please don't cry" he seems to know how my heart will sank by just seeing those toys I used to get for him. "I'll remember you for the rest of my life, Yuna" I cannot hold my tears anymore. Am I asking too much because I know the day will come and it wont be the same anymore. I have prepared myself for this situation six months ago. "Naqi, thank you for being my best friend...that is all I need from you...and I am sorry if I did you wrong" It was the saddest moment that we both rained in tears. He kept saying "Love you, Yuna! and don't you cry". I dedicated this song to him as I know I will miss him.....so muchy.....and life has to move on.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8JX8fA-6Ps