Peace and quiet

I wish I was here! Serene beauty and tranquility. Peace and quiet. Staring at the waves and where the deep blue sea meet the horizon. Walking along the shores, my feet playing with the white sandy beach...teasing the little crabs or the hermits. Collecting sea shells. The sea breeze in my face...hhhmmmmm......what a feeling!

The Sand, the sea, the waves, the wind and the sound of the seaside....then the peacefulness, the quietness and hassle free. YES!

But after a few hours of strolling...I still need to get back to my cyber world to be online! AAArrghh! !!!!

Hello? Disconnected? AAArghh!!!!!!!

Ring!...Ring!..Ring!...

G: Yuna have you watched the news on TV3?

Y: Whats with the news?

G: Hey you! don't just glued to your world...watch the news the next time, will ya?

Bla..bla...bla...bla....bla...bla...look at this link! bla..bla..bla...bla...

Why do I need the news, right? when I have one LIVE on call! hahahahaha.....

No offence GG, just joking! We're always looking out and helping out for each other, right?

Hmmm...Where is Skywalker? He said he'd be online tonight seeking my help (??)

Make defence!

Fencing up!

Early in the morning an unknown person was online with me. He said he got my info at a 'J' website. The problem was, I did not put my ID address nor a picture in it. Plus he seems to know a few more info that only my best friend knew. But he's away and I can't get into that site. How frustrating I was....to check whatever the data in that site. I wrote to the Admin but still with no reply. Furious? Yes, I was...Puzzled? Yes I was. Can't wait for GG to come back to help with the investigation. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have registered last night. Arrgh! no matter what I'll make a defence and I cannot be off guard. To be or not to be! That is the question! but whatever la...My identity is not up for sale!

Looking at the picture above....I'm a dare devil when it comes this 'CLOSE' of who I am.

OK

Hi! I'm ok with a little bit ....hmmm...let me think...never mind! I'll get over it.

This morning, Syed Izman, asked me for the reason I SMS him on not to picked me up to work on Friday and Monday. I didn't say much throughout the journey. He was yikkity yak yikkity yak...drumming into my ears and I was like 'Ya' and 'OK' nodding my head. Then I said "I miss Kinrara" when I heard 'Itu Kamu' song on the radio. "What?" he was like...What the heck she's talking about ???? He saw me looking away ..."You ok ke?" There was just silent. It was not like him to piped down as he's a talker. "Jom, kita breakfast!" He already drove up to the IBC ground (Int'l Broadcasting Center). We ate and he talked about his work..chatty as usual. I really had a good looked at him. Geewhiz! My god! He really can TALK! My goodness! I wanted to laughed...was that a joke or what? He saw me smirking and said "Apa hal ?" (whats up?) . "Nothing!" said I, as I almost burst into laughter. He frowned into confusing but he kept on talking yikkity yak yikkity yak....

Goodness gracious! as I quickly ate my fried rice.

"Yuna, Jangan lupa makan ubat!" (Yuna, don't forget to take your medicine!) as I closed the door before he drove away......(My goodness! am I that transparent?)

I guess I'm lucky to have GG, Syed, Wakka, my sis and my grandma who are concerned about my well being. Thanks to all. Just bear with me for one month...thats all I'm asking.

Air Supply - I can wait forever

Lyric:
When you say, "i miss the things you do"
I just want to get back close again to you
But for now, your voice is near enough
How I miss you and I miss your love
And though, all the days that pass me by so slow
All the emptiness inside me flows
All around and there’s no way out
I’m just thinking so much of you
There was never any doubt

Chorus
I can wait forever
If you say you’ll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know it’s worth it all, to spend my
life alone with you

When it looked as though my life was wrong
You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong
I’ll be here, when hope is out of sight I just
wish that I were next to you tonight
And though, I’ll be reaching for you even though
You’ll be somewhere else, my love will go
Like a bird on its way back home
I could never let you go
And I just want you to know

Chorus
I can wait forever
If you say you’ll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know it’s worth it all,
To spend my life alone with you

Totally down and out

I am not well, I'm down and I can't think straight. I'm having a fever and so is my heart. Somehow my door to the yester world was left ajar and I peeped into those days where I was happy...I belonged to him. I remembered the song we used to listen and sang..."I can wait forever" by Air Supply and somehow the smell of those atmosphere lingers around me. Geewhiz! I let my guard down today! Oh Brother! Have I make a big mistake? Letting him go? Not letting him know? Not knowing the truth? I am totally confused today. I can't believe that I'm so melancholy...I know I could just make a call if I want to...........(???) Yuna? (???) Yuna? (???) Yuna? (???)

My best friend was trying to cheer me up...but I can't. "Smile please!" he said but I can't...cause I felt so cold...so alone...so blue...longing...so hurt...so sick and so weak. Didn't have the heart to informed GG what I went through today. Didn't want him to think that I'm just being foolish and silly. I know he'll say "Nak I ketuk?" (meaning Do you want me to knock some senses in you?) I know he always give some moral support...whatever, thank you GG.

Anyway I almost make the call....."RONNIE I HATE YOU!" and see what he has to say.......but almost! almost!yeah almost!.......Eeeeeeeeeeeee!

Sponge Bob Square Pant

I love Spongebob Squarepants!

I remembered 3 years ago. I saw this icon on the billboard. And I was like "What the heck is that? Spongebob Squarepants..what a name? Yuk!" Then one day I was hospitalised, alone and bored. I've finished with whatever readings..magazines and newspapers. I've looked out at the view many times from my bedroom window. Then I heard "Are we ready Kids? Aye Aye Captain!" . My TV was on like 24/7 to keep me company during my stay. To kill my boredom, I stayed on and watched Spongebob Squarepants! I laughed! Wow wee it was SO funny! I love Spongebob Squarepants' charactor...and it was like love at first tube! hahahahaha...Immediately I love Spongebob Squarepants. The jokes was so simple and innocent...very catchy too! Right then I knew that Spongebob Squarepants was going to be a hit! "I can't hear you...! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants!"
Other latest cartoons that I like? Totally Spies, Kim Possible, Justice League bla..bla..bla..hahahahaha..cartoons in my head! There goes my Final Fantasy...oh..brother!

YouTubeDotCom

Where else? http://youtube.com/

I don't know how to make a video clips to participate in the YouTube. But if I could....

What would I contribute in it? Hmmm let me think...about Final Fantasy? You bet! But there are many Final Fantasy video clips in YouTube already...but I don't mind :) BORING! DING! DING! DING! "Hey! who said that?"

YouTube is where I usually hang out after a looong hours of research work, attending to my blogs, Mybloglog and the forums. I usually spend my times with whatever Final Fantasy in YouTube. I recalled one night, I clicked at one of the FF video clip and to my suprised, it played a hindi song! I laughed! That was really good! I had been HAD! So I thought...hmmm if I could, I'll do the same. FF with the malay songs! wuhoo! I'm going to flood YouTube with these hahahahaha...! Just you wait!

Ring...Ring...Ring...

Y: How did you know that I'm still up? (It was 1:30am)

G: Just trying my luck but I know you...so what were you up to?

Y: Spending my time at YouTube!

Thank you, YouTube! What can a late-night sleeper do without you?

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words

My Chemical Romance

Of late 'My Chemical Romance' has been flooded in our heads. Yeah! Go MCR!

He loves 'I don't love you'

I love 'Famous last words'

Last year, Syed Ibrahim Haikal printed out a poem 'I'm not okay'. What? Was he? To which later I found out that it was just a lyric from MCR. He sang almost everyday and I thought it was rather funny. Then he showed me 'The Black Parade' video clips and I fell in love with MCR immediately. We watched and sing almost everyday. I cringed and laughed but actually more towards LOVE, Gerard Way, the lead singer because I love to see him performing especially seeing his facial expression on every of the MCR's video clips. Brilliant video clips! GERARD! you are oh SO CUTE!!!

Last week GG sent me a link, "Yuna! Take a look. I'm beginning to love this song. Alan introduced it to me". I laughed when I saw it. It was 'I don't love you'. Told him that I knew of MCR and I didn't want him nor any members to know about it. So I sent him The Black Parade and Famous Last Word 's video clips to look at.

Here is the latest news on MCR!

My Chemical Romance are planning ahead for their stint this summer on the Projekt Revolution Tour with Linkin Park.

Wuhoo! This IS great. MCR with Linkin Park! I love Linkin Park too! It's going to be a BLAST!!

But Hey! I'm a Final Fantasy Girl! Oooops!

Say NO to pesky!

Stay safe online

Keep logging on but keep savvy because the internet is a great hiding place for people who could be out to take advantage of you.

I have posted this article on "Stay Safe Online" at my blog "Yuna! Whatever!"
There are at time I've been questioned like below:-
Q1: May I know your name?
A1: Yuna (Just Yuna, ok)

Q2: Where do you live?
Q2: KL, Malaysia (Just KL, ok)

Q3: Can we meet?
A3: No

Q4: May I see your photo?
A3: No

Q5: May I have your phoner number?
A5: No

Q6: Would you like to join me in bla..bla..bla..(Invest)?
A6: No

Q7: Can we date?
A7: No

Q8: What about double date?
A8: No

Q9: Can't we be friends?
A9: yes, we can

Q10: Can't we be more than friends
A10: NO

Q11: How can we be friends if I don't know you?
A11: Vice versa!!!

Silent! Messege stop! (Whatever!!!)

Better connection

Hello people!

It is good to be back online. Get connected once again. I guess in this new generation, no one like to be left behind or out of touch.

Last Saturday, I purposely disconnected myself from internet working. I could just go to the Cyber Cafe if I want to but I didn't. I just want to feel what was it like without all these cyber madness. I watched TV, watched movies and did some house chores. Result..a BORING life! I spend most of the day sleeping. I slept while watching TV and movies. If I had my PS2 with me, I could be just doing that. But then, even the games had become a monotonous thingy. Lucky thing that I had my handphone with me. GG SMS occasionally. I'm not out of touch after all. That Saturday, my handphone had become a precious net connection to me. Oh my goodness! that bad ha...

Hello world! Yuna is back! I'm looking for a better connection this time.

May I call?

May I call?

(His first time using the word 'May'...hmmm indah nya bahasa)
I guess he must have realised that I usually use 'May' whenever seeking his permission for or on anything.

It was just for one day and one night without going online. Looks like he needed his best friend (so am I)... Just to Talk.

Yes...! Just Talk....whatever unfinished business...whatever thoughts in our head...whatever songs to sing or listened....whatever our secrets...whatever...whatever...whatever...we needed to Just Talk! He's all ears and so am I. I'm delighted to just having him to talk on whatever topics la...

Kinrara!!!

My home is just a modest apartment at Kinrara, Puchong. It has been 7 months since I left 'Victory'. Hahahaha I called her 'V' as she's on the 5th floor another symbol of V. I have many memories and memorabilia and V is my personal Vault.

From time to time, I yearned to be with V. My solace, my peace, my calm, my haven, my everything and my world! Though it is just a small home compared to my parents' house...it gives space and freedom for me. V disconnect me from the outside world...my time machine. V hide me from the glares...of people who don't understand. V protects me from the unwanted emotion....my sanity. V is my capsule that stood 'still' ...the beauty of oneness. V is my lover...for I always longed to be with her at all times. V is my madness and if I don't go to her soon...I would die.

I'm going home tomorrow and spend the night too. I'm leaving behind my cyber world for just one day and one night. GG! there is no other place like home! Believe me!...yeah..yeah..I'll remember your 'pesanan' (advises).

I cannot miss a day

Cloud: Tifa, can you get better? he asked

Tifa: No

Cloud: Why not? Is there a cure?

Tifa: If its a virus, there's a cure to it...like a vaccine, drug or something

Cloud: Then?

Tifa: It is my antibody, geotisma goes haywired? It is attacking my my internal organ. What can I say or do? You tell me?

Cloud: Silent

Tifa: Silent (surpressing from crying)

Cloud: I'm sorry

Tifa: That's okay...I'm so used to it

Cloud: Are you ok?

Tifa: I'm just weak and my back hurts (in pain)

Cloud: Can you sleep?

Tifa: (Chuckle) No, I can't...I'm so used to it. I can go on like this.

Cloud: Insomnia?

Tifa: Hahaha..Ya but its the medication I took

Cloud: Everyday?

Tifa: Ya..everyday, Cloud-san. I cannot miss a day.

Cloud: Silent

Tifa: Silent

Bridge over trouble water

"I'm going to call you tonight!"
If he knew I'm not alright...that I'm upset and angry...he's not going to let go. Making sure that 'whatever' he had to put a stop before the days end. Tomorrow is a new day and whatever problems had been solved or put away. Also making sure that I laughed or at least smiled before he put down his call. He knows how to turned me around without me noticing it with just doing his simple sillyness.

I was adamant not to talk about my frustration and was angry too when I felt he can't see nor understood how serious I was. Before the night fall, I kept thinking and thinking...maybe I was over reacted..maybe I shouldn't have told him...maybe I should have shut my mouth...maybe I should have swallowed every words...maybe I shouldn't have bothered him...all those 'Maybe(s)'...I should have been like a goody-too-good girl and that everything is ok..peace brother!

"Yuna, I'm here for you..what are best friends for k. ok what's the problem? I'm hearing" He sound tired and sleepy but willingly to give in for the sake of friendship we built from scratch. Well...I didn't say much. When I'm bitter, I am so cold..I don't say much. Speechless and wordless...emptiness and I can't think. My fingers were clicking at whatever sites but just clicked clicked clicked..thats all. He sang! he talks! he sang! he jokes!he sang again! He really make a fool of himself to which he has never done it before. I laughed! Slowly I begin to opened up and thus talk. Somehow I have forgotten my troubles. Hahahaha...hehehehe...hihihih..all the way. Before the night end, I wrote to him on my dissapointment.
"Yunaaaa, I hope you don't do like this again aaaa but I hope you do the same for me when I'm down k?"

Well "Of course, GG!" Omigosh!!! can't see myself singing away for him...Oh NO.......!

Ouch!

My room is beginning to look like this picture. Underneath the computer table, there are wires all over which supported the PC equipments, TV, PS2 and Radio. So messy! Goodness gracious! I haven't been paying attention to "whatever" underneath the table. Just don't care how the guys installed it as long as it is working. I'm not a technical savvy person and true, I couldn't be bothered by it too. To me it is a complicated matter. Then one day, GG asked me to get an earphone speaker. Bought it a month ago but didn't want to tell him so. Now that he knew, I had to get down on my knees to hahahaha see whatever world down there. Trying to find the right connection to it. Banged my head several times during the search. My goodness and ouch too!

I had fun communicating this way for the past 2 days. It add some life in communication.But I don't think that will applies to anybody at the moment. I'll use it discreetly.

Hello! I'm having fun despite all the bangings I got each time he called.

Spice Girls "Mama"

Happy Mothers Day!!

MOM = My Only Mother!

I would like to take the opportunity to wish all Mommies out there a Happy Mothers Day!

Without you Mommies..where are the people? Right? hahahahaha....

"Educate a Woman, you educate a Nation" hahahahaha....

Mum is a word...Really? You can't shut-up a mummy? hahahaha.....

What do you call a mother that gets to a destination? Motherboard! hahahahaha...

Or what do you name a boring mother? Motherbored! hahahaha....

Who heads a fleet of sheep? Mothership! hahahaha....

A place where Mommies say goodbye? Mumbai! hahahahaha.....

Whatever! I just love my mom!

Happy Mothers Day Mom!

With Lots of Love

Yuna

Knock out for 2 days!!!!

Hello! Just dropping by to say 'Hi!'

I'd be busy for the next 2 days...official matters. So won't be updating this blog.

My schedules are very tight. Official job cross path with my personal plans. I wish I have a magic wand or a staff , to make my job easier and have more fun!

Tidus!!! wait up....I need your help....No, can't copy that ...NO, you can't do that...oh well, just keep me company will you?

China and New Zealand thingy!

Dear GG!

Kindly go to this link, please. http://www.square-enix-usa.com/games/FFX/ Please press skip the introduction. For I want you to hear the 'Zanarkand' while reading this....that is "Yuna's world"!

I hope you remember the day when I first introduced you to this link, my madness with the Final Fantasy. I want you to go back to the days where we started. Think hard busy man! Harder and what makes us from day one and until today...our friendship. I guess no one from CG members knows us like we do. I'm not asking so much from you and I'm sure you know...right from the beginning I have no plan in whatsoever...just a little hope and some fun with Cakapgold.com And you, chasing your 'Starlight' and me was still in cloud nine with my Final Fantasy world! hahahahaha...very amusing. We also started our friendship with the "Moral of the story" thingy and at the back of my mind I will always say this "This is my story"...just like Tidus said in FF10. "Perjalanan kita semakin jauh dan masa berlalu terlampau cepat" (Our journey has gone further and time flies)

Last night, ...please call me 'Yuna' because then, I don't know whats left of me now. I shouldn't have left the clues. I used to say..I'm good at these games...the treasure box, secret identity, hiding places, word puzzles...just like you did the same to me when you said,"Ade berani?" (Do you dare?) daring me to find out more about you. Hahahahaha...that's the reason 'I'm not saying another word' as in Yuna Sphere's blog. "I rasa you tak perasan dan mungkin tak faham" (I guess you were unaware and clueless). Anyway...I'm Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna! Yuna!Yuna! Please hold on to your promises my best friend! About JT, I haven't the slightest nerve....I'm just your good friend sincerely helping out to make it work. Demi Allah! (In the name of god). The rest is in your hand.

Thanks once again. "You nampak tak China? I nampak New Zealand la...!" hahahahaha.....(smoochie!)

AMV - Final Fantasy X - Never Let Me Go

Feeling contented

Hello! I love to look at this picture. Stored in my PC. Everytime I browsed, I would definately stop here for a longer look. Maybe I wish that was me and that was him..(my Tidus!). What is Yuna without her Tidus, right?

Well, time will come where I longed to just holding hands...feeling the warmth of his hand in mine. His hand bigger than mine, gripped softly but firmly as though he will never let go.

No..I don't hear him whispering the tender loving words but a soft gentle kiss on my forehead, his endless devotion and in his silence..an undivided love. Ha...(sigh)..what a feeling!

Ok, I'm not going to elaborate no more...I just love the look of that contentment she had snuggling in him and the guy's effection towards his only woman in his life. Ha...(sigh)..what a feeling!

"Snapped!!" ok stop dreaming....and get back into reality...Yikes!! Reality bites!

Not saying it out

No..I'm not saying another word!

Sometimes it is best not saying it out! So it won't dispute......Sometimes it is best to keep it a secret! so whoever doesn't have to know. Sometimes it is best to just ignore! so no confrontation.....Sometimes it is best to not to show! so no misunderstanding....Sometimes it is best not to talk it over! so no bigger rows....Sometimes it is best to be in silent! as silence speaks the truth....Sometimes it is best to leave it behind! so it doesn't toils.....Sometimes it is best not to worry! so it make peace...Sometimes it is best to close one eye! so it may pass.....Sometimes it is best to sing alone! so my innerself will sing......Sometimes it is best to be alone! so you may ponders.....Sometimes it is best to think it over! so mistake don't come twice.....Sometimes it is best to run away! so it may stay.....Sometimes it is best to let it be! so it won't hurt.....Sometimes it is best to cry! so it will release....Sometimes it is best not to make promises! so it won't be broken.....Sometimes.....sometimes...just walk away...for I'm not saying another word.......

Going online

I found this avatar and I really like it. I seem to only sleep if I'm really really tired. I'm busy with interneting! I can't believe this is happening to me. In just a few month, I'm like forever in front of my PC..at work and at home. He told me "Yuna, jangan jadi addicted to it dah la.." (meaning not to become addicted with the internet world).

At work, that is the first thing I do now. Online to check the forum and whatever my personal thingy in this cyber world. During office hour, I'll catch up with one or two of my blogs during my free time or do some personal research too.

Once I'm at home, I went online again. To check with the local forum and then activate the Instant Messenger BUT with a message "I'm not at my desk but you may leave messages". Hmm..whatever for right? As obviously I was NOT at my desk. They can just leave messages even though when I'm not online. Next, I usually take my nap from 8 to 9:30pm before I proceed online again. It is a sign that I have already prepared a head of time. And I usually went to bed, the earliest is by midnight and the latest is by 3:30am. Again, woke up around 5 to 5:30am, repeating doing the same. During this hour I normally went undercovers as I only checked for important messages. That bad ha?

I know a friend of mine who seem to be on line like 24/7. I asked him if he ever gets tired...and he replied, "Nope". And he's a gamer like me too. Sharing the same interest with the Final Fantasy games and charactors. And he loves designing.

Well...well..looks like the person who posted this avatar is right after all. In this new generation "Awake is the new sleep". One thing I know.... I can't be without going online in a day! It SUCKS! You tell me...people.

(p.s. I've just found out that 'Awake is the new sleep' is Ben Lee's Album!)

Talk

This is me and GG! (Just a sample picture only la...hahahaha...)

Today, was the first time we talk! A long conversation. Nothing fancy about it, just enjoying each other's companion besides GG was guiding me on some technical PC matter. He knows I'd be fumbling over ....hahaha..as usual...on something new.
We talked before but a very short and silly one. Not much of a conversation I must say.

Also, he was explaining on how to make money on blogging and some advises too plus commented on some nonsensical I did with some of my blogs. Especially like this one, my journal blog. But who cares! I love this blog! Yuna Sphere is my pioneer blog. A prototype...my very first blog. I will write whatever I want...be it of Final Fantasy or whatever I would like it to be materialised. My memories...my journey...happy or sad...my friendship...my say

"Yuna! alahai...you tau cakap kelante tak?" oh...oh!(???) :D

Blessing

"Are you ok today?"....bestfriend was so concerned this morning.

I had breakfast with my parents this morning. It had been awhile we haven't been going out together like we usually do. I'm fine but...a little bit hurt actually. " I'm ok but still hanging on" I told GG. He felt relief. I'm trying to learn to live in my new 'confinement' I must say. When you live with your parents, there are rules and regulation you have to abide to. Whatever you do or go...cross sharing of information is important. But I'm so used to be on my own and I'm very independent. There are things I like to make it personel and there are things I keep behind close door. I used to have the whole parameter of a house but now of a room. Whatever in the fridge was my own but now a small space just for my fresh juice. An alluring nightie but now in a pyjama. Before, I can turn on the music loud but now is a hush-hush! I can keep-on throughout the night but now ..."Hey! go to bed as its already late!". The vast different of yesterdays and today.

We had little conversation during the breakfast.. I wasn't eager to participate in whatever topics they chit-chatted. My eyes were glued to the TV at the Ali Maulana's Restaurant. "Still feeling blue ha?" my mind was saying to my heart. My heart..The Queen of Everything! If she's angry...I'm at angry mood. If she's sad...I'm crying already. If she's in love...I'm helplessly so too. :) If she's ego...I'd ignore and If she's blue....I'd be silent. My heart is as strong as a diamond rock! "So what is your plan today?" My mum was asking..."Huh?" I startled. I guess my parents felt 'something' for I was not chatty like before. I guess they knew me better. "Shall we shop at Tesco?" my mum was planning. "OK" I agreed. I asked for the bill but my mum said that the tab was on my dad. I just smiled...cause I used to pay for it.

I dropped my dad at home on my way to Tesco. Yeah...we finally talked. I told her my plan to have a 'Thanks Giving'. My mum likes the idea. I told her that my Thanks Giving was about my involvement with the JT project. A small row of her resentment arises as she's doesn't understand whatsoever involvement I'm in with the internet thingy. "MUM! I've been trying to make you understand but you just WON'T listen. I'm telling you again..bla..bla..bla..bla..and I'd be ok. I assured you. Thats the reason I need yours and dad's blessing. Thats the reason I thought about the Thanks Giving. God gives good fortune for a good cause!" . I hope she got my message right this time. Told her about the time I have to sacrifice these days.

Next we proceeded our monthly groceries shopping and I SMS GG where we were...."I'm at Tesco Ampang!"....."I'm at Bukit Antarabangsa!" ....hahahaha I know what you're doing there, GG! Poor GG!

Eclipse

Thats how I feel of late. Total eclipse of the heart.
Well...I'll wait till the moon moves over and there'll be sunshine back into my heart.

"GG you've been asking me to look at the moon since Wednesday night. You said the full moon you viewed from the Putrajaya was so beautiful and lovely. From my side, dark clouds hidden it away. I looked for it every night but still in vain as the night clouds enveloped the sky. Again, I didn't get to see it when you asked me to view the beautiful full moon last night. This time the sky was clear but my heart was in for a blue moon..."

Blue moon! yeah...yeah...it was just me. It has got nothing to do with my best friend GG. He's been very supportive enough looking after my well being. I was down and hurt when I felt I have no privacy at all. I wanted to go home so badly before I hardly breath from where I'm standing. Yet I don't want to hurt nobody. It was a tough decision and my innerself IS still fighting either to run free or to be at peace. GG kept advising by repeating "Kenapa dulu boleh?" (why was it ok the time before). My mind couldn't think and gave reasons as those words kept flashing out. I guess he was upset and worried over whatever...only he knows. And I, I just want a corner for myself ...for my saviour and soul. Just one small corner so that I could breath easily. Thats all I'm asking from them...don't take away my happiness...my last resort to my sanity and well being...don't push me to the wall...don't make me wear the prison cloths...don't srtip me down...don't bottle me up...don't feed me with no love...don't just say it...don't just judge me...don't just play with me...don't shut me out...don't stare at me...don't ignore me..don't just blame me...

Too close to comfort! When closing in your view is getting smaller and you can't see the bigger picture anymore.

Yuna's Sphere

Sacrifices for happiness

Hi! This is Yuna dancing away in my own world. Yes, this IS my world! And I love it.

Tonight, I've been thinking a lot about myself. My mind was like talking out and I wanted to jot down every words my inner self was trying to say. Trying to captured it for this purpose. When I was young and until now. All the things I wanted to do, my dreams and my ambition too. In the end, I didn't get to do all these. I know I have the abilities to go further than this...whatever I'm doing now. Lets say 'they' don't believe in me. I think 'they' still don't, even today. I sacrificed my happiness, my youth and my health just to be what they wanted me to be. As long as 'they' are happy. Am I happy?

I could have gone to Budaya College in Kota Bahru. I could have pursue my dancing class back then where I was chosen to be in a Budaya Group Tour across America or perhaps in Europe. I could have studied at UiTM in Shah Alam too. I could have gone to study in America or in UK too. I could have just finished my french class and graduate. I could have gone further than these in pursuit of my dreams, ambition and happiness. Then, my life now could have been a different story. I scribbled on a piece of paper......I woke up in a confused state of mind, thinking I was late to work. Hahaha... I think my mind was tired that somehow I dozed off in the middle of it. That bad ha...

Yes, I sacrifice my all in pursuit of their happiness. I just want to ask them one day...if they are really happy. Thats all. I rest my case.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Dear Dad

Happy Birthday! Maybe I haven't thank you enough for I haven't the slightest idea what is like to be an ideal daughter. You kept saying you were concerned about my health and that I shouldn't be working too hard. I thought of what you said today when we had dinner together. Just the two of us. Dad, I hope you are happy. Please don't take my happiness away. And I love you too.

Just Talking

Ya..ya..ya...Just Talk! Talk about anything! Do you dare to talk with me? Anything but politics and religions ! Well, those are just sensitive issues as it differs from the people's support and belief. Make love and not war, people! So please stay away from politics and religions' topic okay?

Today, a CG member and an ardent fan of my blogs chat with me. I'm going to named him as Wakka. He has that Wakka charactor as in Final Fantasy 10. Hahahaha...Jangan marah! (Don't be scornful!) He said he felt so at ease chatting with me. So, he was very open and be cool about it. Hopefully, I would take his friendship into my bestfriend book, like GG. Well, in the first place...it is not easy for anyone to foreclaim to be like GG. GG is different...lets say he's just one of a kind, thats all. We can talk on whatever topics ...yes whatever...! Can you handle that? No one can, I guess...

Chatting and talking are two different kind of communication, folks. Since you can't see the other people in person...there is a freedomness to say it out of your chest. Be it a true one or false one..it doesn't matter. Right? One thing I noticed of Wakka, he has everything layed out like a map in order to pursue Yuna's attention. He has got everything correct, right down to every details of whatever I posted at Cakapgold and my blogs. Old and new. I was suprised. But I must say, I cannot be an open book to just anybody out there. Its different. It is not just about what you know but trust and respect. Sorry Wakka, the brick that layered between you and me is 'Trust and Respect". And these bonds are very difficult to come by. That 'Trust and Respect' thingy..only GG has it in me. Vice versa.

That was just chatting away but talking? Real talk...Wakka, I don't think you like talking with me. You asked me if I talk it would be like debating some topics....Debating? hahahahaha...Oh Come on....Debating? Just Talk la..Wakka....Can you talk? yikkity yak yikkity yak....some folks love yikkity yak! Me? I just love to 'hi-hi-bye-bye' and some short, sweet and simple talk. Have a nice day, Wakka.

Welcome JT!

He likes to make me wonder and ponder and thus restless. SMS a number of times...no replies and my calls did not get through. Out of the blue, when I was with my blog GG sent me a sad song along with a sad emoticon and off he goes. What was that? I was thinking. Whats going on? and again, breaking my thinking cap's wall. Sent him an offline messages, hoping if he would be on invisible mode. Then, I was getting tired as I've been working and surfing since the evening. It was 11:30pm and obviously such disturbing messages make me unable to concentrate to blogs. I was tired and confused, my eyes can't hold on any more. I need my rest. I surrender myself to my slumberland to which it is out of ordinary actually...as I hardly went to bed early.

12:10 am...blink! Woke up ...still feeling woozy and gorky. But sleepy head? No! I think it was my body which was giving in. Not my mind which is always at 'Attention!' and alert. Got myself a drink before I get on with my blogs. Somehow I remembered GG who once informed me that he has a website, rated as number 3 in Malaysia. So I typed his name and within a second Google gave me the link. I laughed...for a guy who has been trying to be as mysterious as I am...he's not....well...almost.

GG went online again who then told me that he was just making fun. Oh brother! What a night! He gave me such a fright, just in case if he was down, he would be totally moody. Also, he was supposed to launch his new website, JT, on this date, 1st May 2007. Hello JT..welcome to the Cyberspace!