I am alright dearie...

It has been so many days I was restless…thinking too much of my life. At first, I thought I’d be ok that I am able to control my emotions. But ever since he can’t online I feel the pain in me…it bothers me so. Putting my concentration on Tribalwars , a diversion, not to think so much of the missing days we have. I guess he felt the same too…his text messaging beginning to reveal his feelings for he is not the kind of person who would just say out loud. I hold on to it and read over and over and over and over again. Whenever I missed him, I read it over and over again. He has touched my heart and melted the iron ore covering it.

The night he told me that he was going home the next day, I was longing for him…crying silently myself to sleep. He has been away too long and I too want him back to where he belong and fix our missing puzzle from where we left.

I’ll be alright, I have him. Ever since I let him into my dream domain, The Plain, I knew it wasn’t just an empty talk and picnic we had back then…it was a gesture to spend together at all times. The dream we share was our only visiting, a time machine, where we run free and express ourselves…

At Eden Prime, counting shooting stars? The night glowed in romantic purple with two moons raised high above. It wasn’t about Burger King and whoopers for supper too. It was just the two of us moonlighting together until we fall asleep…don’t want to let go until the sun greet us and take our dream away …

I am here now…I am calm…I am alright!

Balancing on a wire

I don’t know where we stand but we have mutual feelings and understanding. Once again my life was not like before. We are so far and yet so close. It hurts so much so that I cannot take it anymore. I feel like running away as far as I could and barf out whatever feelings that is hurting me inside. All those words he gave me …only he knew…or was I wrong? The further we are the closer we gets…confused and in dilemma...

We care so much and respect our differences…I was afraid if it is too much, I cannot handle it, I may end up in much worst situation of my life and that my heart was touched for the wrong reason and I can never play the games again…ever!

Today, I cannot withhold anymore and told him so….for I seek the calmness in me, to take away the pain and confusion…I rest my case and I am balancing on a wire...just dont catch me when I fall

Miss you nights

Too tired to sleep, too weary to think, too exhausted to stay another hour…I just want to relax for a while and thought about ….......I used to spend my midnight hour chatting with him…yeah, about anything! Most of the time we end up with our making-up stories, traveling near and far, continuing our rendezvous in another portal, our dream world….hahaha just having fun our ways. I miss our talks and stories….

“Lets go to Rome, we meet at the coliseums” he sms-ed. “Tell me about it, I’ll listen to your war story with awe!” I just love to hear him explaining in details of any war epics like a historian telling me what weapons they had, how many they were, war formation and strategies, right down to the garments, also about the reasons behind the winning and losing. I know some wars but unlike him, he tore it right down in the middle and spread out and turn it into a world map history.

But with text messaging, we just let our imagination run free. “Ok, c ya!” short and sweet but no frills. When he said ‘Miss u dearie’ I guess we both miss our usual good-night-cap to seal it with our usual bedtime stories.

However, we finally rest to sleep with a smile on our face, thinking of nothing else but the fun we just had a few minutes ago with our text messaging game…ending the day…full stop…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv4JnFClVmo

Lost

It is strange tonight…all quiet…and I am alone..
The oneness and loneliness brought me back to where I was before …totally one and independent and longing for no one…my fingers were not tapping on the key boards but the play station joystick. My eyes glued on the TV Screen absorbed into the characters I played in a game.

But now, my heart felt different, I feel the tinge of pain deep in my heart like a long needle slowly poked through it and I want to cry for no apparent reason. And I feel strange tonight like I am splitting into two. ‘Lost Butterfly’ sang by Rurutia was in the air gives an impact to the surrounding…I am unguard…I am without wings…I am mute…I am blind…I am deaf…I am soulless…I am without dream…I am Vaccum..I am nothing…I am LOST! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWmcUQqoakM

W.E rank 25!

Just a show off!

W.E is now rank 25 in world 7 of Tribalwars! YEAH!!!

Thanks to all members...keep up with your good work...

Quiet Phase

I am very happy that W.E gets going and marching up. I have no complaints since then. Members are doing their best maintaining a neutral tribe concept and for the first time I feel so relax managing W.E in Tribalwars. There is a lot more to learn about this game where you find rivals, friends and foe…In fact, perhaps you find your partner too who is willing to make your goals happening in your tribe and believing in you. Indirectly, it is a virtual society, a community, your own kingdom and civilization.

This week, is a quiet week to me. There will be a big change in my daily activity nearing to the middle of November. I have to adjust myself to whatever circumstances to keep me busy after Tenko left to Bintulu, his home town in Sarawak. Though he said that he’ll be in touch whenever he can, things will be different from then on….I know dear…

I’ll try to spend more time with my favourite guy playing games, exchanging songs, music and any news or info. I think by now, we are more at ease since the day I told him what is in my heart, my mind and my selfness. We just enjoy and share our mutual friendship and perhaps maybe envy to some.

Tenko-san you are the BEST!
Anymore challenging games? Hahahaha..I guess by now you know how far and serious I am when I am in a game…A bit ‘ kiasu ’ you may say for I always want to have the best personal result.
Duke Nukem once said “Come get SOME!” (raining bullets!)
Oh yes, got to horned my shooting skills once again..in Team Fortress 2? (adeii..I tunggu nih!!!!!!)

I am contented! XOXOXOXO

Open Arms by Mariah Carey

Dedicate this song to Dearie :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8oc98qfHk

W.E Forever!

Tribalwars: World 7

I am dedicating this song to the tribe W.E and a tribute to all loyal members who brought W.E back to live. Tenko and I are honored and would be remembering that to date is the birth of our tribe Yunie aka W.E.

God bless you all!

W.E ..Keep holding on..I won't give in!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jFaAcRWibY

With YOU by my side I'll fight and defend!

Go stealth

I was a bit taken when he was screaming from the other end like “Damn! You wasted my time!”...thats what I felt. Confusion set in or was I too much? I felt guilty of course and I thought about our nuts, chasing round the bush, exchanging words and our findings trying to find a solution over a non important matter which we thought it was from the beginning…(oh dear!). I went into ‘vacuum’ and isolate myself. I don’t want to think further more but ‘Sorry..sorry..sorry..’

A friend was wondering if I am ok since I was quiet and didn’t say much. I have been receiving a number of negative energies and this small one just added to my blue mood. Ever since ‘I will be off during your General Assembly” My lips were tighten and tears envelope my eyes. I don’t want to show my sorrow and I don’t want to spoil whatever left we had. Days are numbered. For a while I was staring blindly and couldn’t think until he asked “What were you doing?” that brought me back to just play along and have a good chat till morning after. “Don’t make any promises” I once told him for I hate promises. They are either to be kept or broken. I rather take my days run freely and no empty promises.

Sometimes I thought of good friends I have and had. I just wish I could start all over again and maintain the friendship like the beginning of our acquaintance. Those days were more fun and full of laughter. I think they probably agreed.

Windows were wide open and now shutters have set up and soon the blind will completely close and there is only one door...and go stealth

Fatal Flaw by South Jordan

I love this song so much!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9k61jX_G_k

They told me be careful
They said be weary of you
They warned: persistence is the fatal flaw
I find myself waiting
I find myself hoping that you’d
One day fall into my open arms

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

I’ve been here a time or two
Trying to fight the dying breath
Why is every step I take so damn hard
I got some battle wounds from this
I got the sinking feeling in my skin
I’m getting tired of the night
I’m waiting for your light

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

But it’s okay, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind, I’ll just take the back seat again
Cuz in the end, I’m here
In the end just sit and stare
Seasons change, now making way
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you
As I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting for you

They said be weary of you
They warned: persistence is the fatal flaw.

W.E is moving up!

It has been many days, Tenko and I, have been playing ‘Spore’ before we check into our Tribalwars game. Beside that, we’ll be sending SuperPoke messages in MySpace, plus playing with our SuperPoke pet Tigers. We love to see whose pet is the most decorated pet. Hahahaha...."Yunie, my Vampire is now level 6” He said last night and showed me the screen shot. I was like “Aaarrgghh!" when I got to know he named ME for his vampire. Geez! I haven’t been playing the Vampire game for many days but I am right behind him (Level 5)..Hmm..I’ll catch up =D

Just two nights ago we were discussing about the growth of our tribe in Tribalwars. The morning after he sent me an interesting text messaging to which I was not surprised at all. Tribe *I* has offered us a mergence with them. Our tribe will be an extension to the second largest and strongest tribe in World 7. Just a month ago we have been trying to get a new sub-tribe called ‘W.E-R’, an academy to the parent tribe, W.E. There were two other tribes offered to become our Academy but were irrelevant. And ever since our encounter with the *I* member council, we have been corresponding non stop, making deals and proposals. We always do what is best for our members. Our members don’t really know the bruises and wounds we had to endure to bring up W.E. It has always been about them, our members. And, it is also about our achievement too, our rank was 28 just two days ago. =)

Today, 6th October, 2008, Tribe Yunie aka W.E is officially known as *I*-R, the most influence tribe in World 7. Ironically there is a similarity of ‘R’ (Recruit) on making an Academy. “Yunie, I know you would love to keep the name W.E ” he said the night before, sensing the restless in me since I didn’t talk much. This time, I let him have the upper hand, his tribe, his decision. Tears swelling from the corner of my eyes, not wanting him to know the real truth how I felt that night.

I couldn’t hold on anymore and I had to let it out, I was crying when I saw W.E as *I*-R. I underestimate myself of wanting the changes, which benefit the members. I felt the lost for losing the original identity...our main purpose in playing Tribalwars. Tenko was not available but I am also not so sure if he could handle my sorrow. “Houston! We have trouble!” I quickly called Naqi and the rain set in.

In memory: 19 November 2008, is W.E’s 1st anniversary

OK and not ok

Ok…..not ok…..ok…..not ok….ok…not ok
Yeah, I am getting fed-up of can’t be doing much of late. Most of my activities have been slowed down…I will online occasionally just to catch up with him. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Nothing, just with you” for I have no energy just to browse my usual routine checking on the Tribalwars and others. I just want to chat after hours and hours of sleeping and recuperating. My mum will come in once a while to check if I am ok.

“If you are not well, please don’t go or you’ll be sick” he advised on my pre-planned Saturday outings. It was a great Saturday and text him once a while, ‘There’s a cosplay at Mid Valley’. My supposed to be shopping was ditched and went to the Convention Center instead, participated in some online games just to get that blown-up Panda Toy. My feet were aching and the blisters were slowing my strut…Geez! Later on, gave him full details of whatever fun and the spoilt dinner we all had. It was great but not to the fullest, it could have been better. I woke the next day with heavy head and exhaustion was hampering me all day.

Last night, after played ‘Spore’ for awhile, I told him the frustration I felt on being sick and not able to be active for the past week. I felt guilty of leaving all the Tribalwars’ matters to him alone and promise to come back once I am truly alright. “Can you handle it?” seeking assurance.. He is the most patient guy I know who will absorb anything I give…time, disappointment, anger, fun, laughter and endearment…He IS the Panda! Rough but yet gentle where I usually will run to him for comforting. As for Tribalwars concerned, he knows that I’ll defend and fought for him to the fullest. If not, what is ‘W.E ’ (tribe) without him and me. We are partners! And as for the sick me…I am a fighter…his side kicks…is fighting out to kick some butts!

Feeling weak and drousy....
Just you wait Eden Prime, I am on my way there…
The deep purple will fall when the blue and the red moons are high above and we’ll be counting stars for the Burger King wars! Hahahaha…yeah..Whoopers! ZZZZZZZzzzzzz……

W.E!

Hi

It has been awhile I have not blog. Busy as ever!
But last night, I discussed about our tribe’s next plan with my Tribalwars partner, Tenko, leader of Yunie tribe aka W.E (Whatever!). We were surprised that though most of our members are and were under siege but our ranking is still rising. Surprisingly more players wanted to join our tribe. There is nothing special in our tribe as we are neither fighters nor looking for trouble. Unlike our allies who have more fighters in their tribe where some of our members joint venture with them taking other players’ villages.

Looks like the 2nd biggest tribe *I* aka Immortal is pounding on tribes like us and our allies to gain more points to conquer the North, South and West for coalition, to be the number ONE in World 7 where T.F.B aka The Fluffy Bunny has been holding the trophy for such a long time. Wake up T.F.B!

“What is your next plan, Yunie?” He asked.
Well, I thought W.E should have more grounds in world 7. Just last Sunday, I have sent nobles out to conquer some villages at another continent and thus explaining to Tenko on our movement to settle in the center block of world 7 and then spread out like a star. “It is like the Chinese!” I told him. “You know, there are china town in every country in this world and I want to adopt that plan” I smiled. And yet, time is the factor. I am wondering for how long we are going to play this game. It is not easy to be the Duke and Baron in the tribe. We don’t play full time and will log in whenever we can. “Tenko, we did well ha? We are rank 32 in World 7! Best fifties! I never thought we could go this far and that we have so many members now….Are we going for 20?” The feeling was so soothing and damn proud of our achievement.

W.E’ll see…!

Colours of the day

Grey
There is a period I call it Grey Period as nothing seems right as planned, wrong words, wrong perception, misunderstanding, bad news and nothing seems to be over whelming; hurt and sadness goes deeper and deeper.

Blue
I felt blue and can’t even lift a smile. My mind wonders away thinking and thinking and perhaps rerun of the incident which I wish I could have make changes, to make a difference, to make a mend. Teary eyes reflect the pain and sorrow in me.

White
This could be pure and my internal instinct has not betrayed me at all. It could also mean that I am worried and scared shit to lose a valuable asset. Picture framed, hoping to steal the moment to stand still.

Red
My heart beats faster and harder. I am alive but life is like dead….will I bleed for you?

Black
It does not resemble evil but restoring my sanction, back to my cold dark room.

Yellow
A bright light showers me with warmth and kindness, hugs and kisses that still waits for my return patiently.

Purple
I brave the storm. In silent no words express my sadness moment….

Charming!

Ever since we became closer, our conversations are more casual and relax…buddies! He’s very open and we are very playful. I used to say that he’s mysterious and I think he like the idea of me portraying him as Cloud Strife (FF7 protagonist)who is sensual, quiet, a loner and mysterious. From my point of view, he likes to be in control of himself but is he able to dodge his Yunie’s charm? Hahahaha…..(just kidding!)

He makes no plan and if he wants to go he’ll just go along with his guts to which I think sometimes he is nuts! “Could you at least check it out? Have you confirmed? Where are you now? What? So What now? Stay put and get help..bla..bla..bla..” I turned out to be a nagging nanny at one point (My eyes are rolling..tist!tist!tist!tist!) Hmm..I wondered if he enjoyed making me being over-the-edge and worrying. “I’ll be ok” That’s what he’ll say in return.

Recently he’s adding more kilos for his six packs (hahahahaha…) but back in my mind I wished I could say “You are really a Panda!” since he is always “I have just eaten but am still hungry” and off he goes for more bites..Geez! Last night he wrote “Hehe..I cannot fit in to my slack and I am zipping half way” I was laughing my head off. I feel sorry for him and wish I could help him…(hahahaha..LOL! still laughing! Oo dear..)

“You don’t have to cook tonight, I think I have had enough about food” me, making up story. It is our way to bid goodnight, so we put up some imagination on places we should go or would be doing in our dreams..yes, dream! “Then where are you going?” he asked. “The usual place” I said. For the first time he complaint about us going to my choice of destination. This time he wants us to be in his dream world. “Lets go snorkeling in Similanjau (somewhere in Sarawak)..the water is crystal clear and there are many corals and fishes to see and I want to meet Patrick the Star Fish (from Spongbob, his favaourite)!” he giggles. I was so delighted to hear that he finally cooking up a story instead of me..(hahahahaha…charmed!)

So off we go…snoring zzzzzzzz! (Geez..it is snorkeling la…!)