I feel so cold

I've been keeping this sadness for quite some times. I cried whenever I think of it. My heart sank and my spirit was very low. But I managed not to show it in the open. Only during the quiet times, that my eyes would fix and I'm thinking.

"How are you Yuna?" Anand will naturally say almost everyday. "I'm ok" but he was asking me about 'one' that bothers me since last week. I cried when I told him my deepest secrets. I'm lost and I'm confused. He tried to console me by putting in positive words. "Now you are being stubborn" he said when I determined to proceed with my 'hybernation' and 'killing process' which are not just a far fetch plan but if this is the way to pull myself together, I would do it. I didn't started it. I didn't voiced it. I didn't offered it. I didn't end it. It wasn't me ...No, it wasn't me. Anand was all ears putting some senses in me as 'such whatever k' was hard to find. I couldn't work when I confided in him. I just have to let it out..."Do you know there's not a moment of without tears to just thinking about it. It hurts!" I told Anand. I showed him 'the link' that support my actions. He felt the pain that I endure quietly for he too somehow in a fixed situation like me. "I am sorry and I feel sorry but I'm trully hurt". He gave me a huggie...boy, I do need a huggie! Hug me please...I feel so cold!

Sometimes your heart bleeds, you suffocated, your vision blurred and your mind stray. Your ears gone deft but something is saying to your heart but it is whispering through your ears...you know it! Your guts say so.....This time...http://youtube.com/watch?v=xpQf930WiDw