Whatever positive mood I have left

Last night was the hardest time I had to open up myself. To release my frustration. My heart was fighting to give in and not to give in. I cried but a little and I know the other part of me was so stubborn...that part of me who always come forward whenever there's a battling or a dilemma inside me, telling me that I'm capable of handling whatever on my own. Always! Also that there are a number of people whom I know who sees me as a pillar of strength as I'm always under control ....in whatever!

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, I felt vulnerable...and the thought of myself being so vulnerable.. hurting myself in many ways...hurting my friends...my parents...whoever I know of. I recall the appointment I had yesterday with my doctor. A very tough news I had to face foreseeing me leading to nowhere that I cried. Let go Yuna...I don't know if I hate myself or just an energy which is bursting out of me. I felt so terrible and I really hate this kind of moment ...cry as much as I wanted. Eeeeeeeee yeah, I hate it! How many times must I cry ha? Keep holding on..playing in my head...Eeeeeeeeee stop please!

Went to work this morning...with whatever positive mood I have left. My head ...is pounding like mad due to not enough sleep. I'm going to keep myself busy. I have new mission to do to which I'm looking forward to. Maybe today will be alright. As I reached the office...I was like 'DUH?' ...where is my CPU? They said that I'm going to get a new CPU and thus need to reinstall & configure. Oh man..just when I thought my day would be alright. I was left with 'emptiness' (zero) once again......